Beulahnife

@Mirexshotz 😂😂😂 another one

@samo_skey Fear not, I am behind you. 😑😑🙂

The union chairman looked at my phone. He threw his cigarette on the floor. And he rapidly backed away from me. My hands were shaking so much I could barely swipe the screen. I pressed answer. I didn't put it to my ear. I left it on speaker. "Oga Samuel," the wet, crushed voice whispered through the phone. At the exact same time. From deep inside the dark, mangled metal of the wrecked bus ten feet in front of me. I heard the faint echo of a voice speaking from a ruined cabin. "I can see you standing outside," the voice wheezed through my speaker. "Come inside the bus." "Come and collect your package."

My older brother sent a package from Abuja through a night bus. He forwarded the driver’s number to me on WhatsApp. "He will get to Ojota park by 5:00 AM," my brother wrote. "Go early before the agberos start making noise." I set my alarm for 4:30 AM. Lagos is a different kind of quiet at that time. The air is cold, wet, and smells heavily of diesel and dust. I parked my car outside the motor park. I pulled my jacket tight and dialed the driver's number. It rang twice. "Hello?" I said. "Oga Samuel," a voice replied. It was incredibly raspy. It sounded wet, like the man was gargling thick liquid while trying to speak. Every breath he took was a heavy, rattling wheeze. "I am at the park," he forced out. "Come to the back and carry your waybill."

Let’s talk politics.

@ShalePod @the_Lawrenz @UtdPappi_X Hope you went hiking? 🤣

@the_Lawrenz @UtdPappi_X I too suffer for fieldwork tire for Akoko Edo 😂 Igharra show me shege 😭

Interviewer : How many languages can you speak? Me : 3. Interviewer : Wow, you’re multilingual, what languages, if I may ask? Me : I’m a native English speaker, I speak fluent Pidgin and I also speak the royal dialect of my tribe from Edo State. Interviewer : Oh ….

@UtdPappi_X @the_Lawrenz We are Igarra, not "Igala". Igala is in Kogi state.

@the_Lawrenz Na that Igala side. We rep Esan/Uromi here 🫱🏽‍🫲🏾

@olajumokeokenla It's the people saying "go girl" her fellow dindinrins.🤦🏾‍♀️😅

You can’t be serious babes… “Most popular back-to-back” is this supposed to be an achievement? Please go and read what he wrote again and come back… Don’t get me angry this evening

@moemudi01 Fire Adelaide

There is one Yoruba name that has the same spelling with an English word. What is the name or the word.

@kunmigbenga My mom told us the same thing too. So now if the eggs don't peel smoothly, I know they are just a day old egg.

Egg A is fresher than Egg B. If your egg looks like A, congrats….it’s super fresh.

@ThrillaRilla369 She'd get me something else to eat or tell my dad to buy me something on his way back home.

Be honest because I’m proving a point When you were a child if you didn’t want to eat what your mother made for dinner What happened?

@GeorgeWove Gambatte yujin!!!!

@BellaBaddie__ We all call her" baby girl". 😂😂😂

do you guys say "my mom" or "our mom" when talking to your siblings??

@khanofkhans11_ Anything that will make me leave the bed.

What house chore do you dislike the most? Mine is laundry

@lorddrey My dad never liked going to work with kids. Then I came, I was at the front seat following him to the site all the time, feeding him fruits as he drives while we listen to Asa. I am my father's Princess.

I went to a salon to barb last week and this pretty little girl came with her dad. While the dad was barbing she came to me and started a conversation. "Uncle why do you have long hair like my mommy?" Me: Because men too can have long hair. Girl: Do you want to barb it? Me: Yes! Girl: No! Don't barb your long hair Me: Do you like it? Girl: Yes! (She left as her father looked at her. But a few seconds later she returned) Girl: Uncle, can I see your power? Me: I don't have power. Girl: You have power (squeezing my arms) Uncle can I plait your hair? Me: Yes! (She twisted my locks until her dad was done. But she was not done so we negotiated with the dad to let her finish. The father waited.) When she was done she asked me to pay her for the services. I was stunned. The father said I should not worry and I said no I had to pay the young woman for her services. Only a daughter can make a grown man humble enough to be braided and keep 2 grown men patient enough for her to finish braiding without complaints. Daughters bring this softness to a man's life that we can't explain, which is why I will also need a daughter.

@AndyjnrUmaru You people are stopping? Omo! 🤦🏾‍♀️😪😪

Be honest, at what age did you stop doing this??

@Bigwavee00 I have a laptop.

@abazwhyllzz Super story.

What movie first comes to your mind when you hear ‘Previously on’?🤔

@FreeFormLurk @SamConstitution @SamaHoole So the lion is also a retard?

@SamConstitution @SamaHoole

Breaking news for anyone who hasn't worked this out yet: Cows are vegan. No, stay with me. The cow eats the grass. The clover. The herbs. The wildflowers. The diverse, mineral-rich, organically grown plant matter from the field. The cow then, and this is where it gets interesting, converts all of that plant material into complete protein, bioavailable heme iron, zinc, B12, fat-soluble vitamins, omega-3 fatty acids, creatine, and carnosine. Using its four stomachs. Which are considerably better at this than yours. So technically, the most efficient way to eat a plant-based diet is to let a cow do it first. The cow is the blender. The cow is doing the processing you cannot do yourself. When you eat beef, you are eating a hyperconcentrated, biologically optimised, grass-powered superfood that a vegan has been assembling for you in a field for eighteen months. You're welcome.

@bullish_254 @freakin_snow @jephandrew1 Till you marry a virgin who is a nympho, who is just waiting for someone to break her rein. Your mind will rest.

@freakin_snow @jephandrew1 One shot is enough to satisfy a virgin you dumb.

My cousin married a good boy 2yrs ago, a perfect gentleman that doesn’t like a lot of things regular guys do. He refused to get intimate with her until they were wedded, not even a kiss or hug cos he considers it a sin. She was in anticipation for the d day- so on their wedding night she wore a see through pyjamas but the man cautioned her not to wear that type of clothes in his house. One time she tried to suck him but was met with an angry face- he considers it ungodly. The few times they were intimate it was just missionary style cos he said other styles are demonic. My cousin is now sex starved cos she can count can count how many times they have been intimate and the husband can barely satisfy her. She is tired of masturbation and doesn’t want to cheat on him. She’s full of regret Is this enough to seek divorce ?

@Dammi_Esq My names aren't your everyday names. It could only be one name at a time.

Did you know? Somewhere out there, there’s someone who has the exact same three names as you same surname, same middle name, same order.

@Ekitipikin This movie never gets old.

No sleep for the wicked

Are you an HR professional ready to move into leadership? The Miva Master of Public Administration helps you build the institutional understanding and policy insight needed for real-world decision making. Apply to join today!