redyellowgreendance 💃🏻

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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻

redyellowgreendance 💃🏻

@RYGdance

Mom to two hilariously quotable boys. Link to my tweets: https://t.co/fEivqY0S59

เข้าร่วม Nisan 2020
869 กำลังติดตาม3.8K ผู้ติดตาม
ทวีตที่ปักหมุด
redyellowgreendance 💃🏻
Me: <Face ID attempt> Phone: “Who the F are you?” Me: <sprinkles sleep crust across eyelids, pulls 27 frizzy strands out of bun, executes quadruple chin> Phone: “Oh it’s you, come on in”
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻
Latest reason my son says we should get a turtle: “They don’t even pee or poop”
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your other mom
your other mom@difficultpatty·
Two field trips this week. Pray for me.
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Hollie Harris
Hollie Harris@allholls·
*taking a quiz* Quiz: Do you experience unexplained anger? *sees my kids arguing and making a huge mess while my husband brings dirty cups and dishes from his office, places them on the counter, and walks away* Me: No, it's very much explained.
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 รีทวีตแล้ว
Matty
Matty@bestestname·
Why would you even leave milkshake in the yard
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 รีทวีตแล้ว
⚡︎
⚡︎@_sorrengailll·
When I say Bed Bath and Beyond just know I’m talking about Bath and Body Works.
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 รีทวีตแล้ว
parks
parks@parkersity_9·
Doctors' offices are like: “Show up 15 minutes early so the doctor can see you 45 minutes late."
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 รีทวีตแล้ว
𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕪𝕟𝕟𐮜
“Don’t overthink it.” Okay what else am I supposed to do.
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 รีทวีตแล้ว
Dad and Buried
Dad and Buried@DadandBuried·
Email: Happy to jump on a quick call if you prefer! Me: THERE IS LITERALLY NO SITUATION IN WHICH A PHONE CALL IS PREFERABLE
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 รีทวีตแล้ว
Shannon
Shannon@gardengirl125·
Made a lot of mistakes in my life but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for has never been one of them.
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 รีทวีตแล้ว
Dadman Walking
Dadman Walking@dadmann_walking·
Starbucks implies the existence of stardoe
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 รีทวีตแล้ว
mariana Z
mariana Z@mariana057·
I hate it when I gain 15 pounds for a role, then I remember I'm not an actor.
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻
Parenting is full of wondrous surprises, like when your 10 yr old asks you “Want me to show you how to get out of handcuffs?”
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redyellowgreendance 💃🏻
10: “If you wanna stay trendy, you have to say ‘IG’ or ‘Insta’. Don’t call it ‘Instagram’ like you did in the 90s.”
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