kris devine (toph)

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kris devine (toph)

kris devine (toph)

@tophdevine

just a man wee a plan. k.

dundee เข้าร่วม Kasım 2011
371 กำลังติดตาม118 ผู้ติดตาม
Anon Opin.
Anon Opin.@anon_opin·
People named Christopher who choose to go by 'Topher' can fuck right off. Pretentious twats.
English
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1.5K
134.6K
Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
I'm a plumber, when working under sinks I often take a spare washing up bottle or bleach bottle with me if there's more than one in the cabinet , I see it as a little tip
English
69
4
466
146K
Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
Not alcoholic, just like beer as much as the next man/woman. However, have developed an inordinate fondness for having a beer on the dog walk. Think it's partly managing to sneak a can out the house but there's nothing so grand as walking the golf course at dusk enjoying a beer.
English
80
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2.7K
304.2K
Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
On a stag do with a load of old friends and realised I dont give a fuck about most of them, we've grown apart, we have very little in common and some are not very nice people. I'd rather be at home with my mrs, daughter and dog.
English
276
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16.2K
1M
Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
I lost a fun sized dildo up my arse in 2014. I never saw nor felt it come out. I've never told a soul and live in fear of a medical professional finding it.
English
106
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4.1K
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Collin Rugg
Collin Rugg@CollinRugg·
NEW: Man saves a small dog from a violent German Shepherd by repeatedly sticking his finger up the dog's butth*le. Diabolical. The incident took place over the weekend at Roe Green Park in northwest London. Multiple people tried stopping the attack by using various techniques but it wasn't until one brave man stuck his finger up the dog's poop chute that the dog backed off. Sticking a finger up a dog's an*s is an extreme, but sometimes effective way to get the animal to drop whatever is in its mouth, according to online threads. The dog briefly stopped before he turned his attention to a different small dog and continued the attack. It's unclear what the small dogs' current condition is. It's also unclear what happened to the dog who had a surprise colonoscopy.
English
5K
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16.3M
Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
I've stopped asking people to go for a pint as an experiment to see how long it is before someone asks me, coming up to 7 weeks.
English
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📸
📸@THINGEO·
Don’t drink and drive 🤬
English
423
817
7.3K
2.3M
Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
Started playing Fortnite as a way to spend time with my kid. Cut to two years later, he's lost interest but I still play it, often to the detriment of time with him.
English
20
7
790
187.3K