Groucho Man Savage 🐷

i think “decontextualized idiom in plain speak” has the highest batting average of tweet type for me. i mean this tweet is gospel at this point

New Jack

@speechboy71 @atrupar Nobody remembers anything. I’m waiting to see who gets to say we can’t wait for a smoking gun that looks like a mushroom cloud.

It’s genuinely astonishing that Hegseth’s argument for war in Iran is basically the same argument used to justify the Iraq War

@constans Not to put too fine a point on it, but they didn’t exactly Smart themselves into their positions.

I don’t think many MAGA people feel betrayed by Trump. They got tax cuts and got to experience 8 years of “one of their own” as president and got to watch a lot of people get fucked over. A lot of them even think the war is badass

@stony2point0 @ddiamond Yes but none of them were this fat or stupid. Makes the country look weak.

@ddiamond Get over it. We have presidents on money already

Today: Trump’s handpicked panel of arts commissioners may vote to put his face on a U.S. gold coin. A separate, bipartisan panel already rejected the idea, saying it was anti-Democratic and even illegal.

@SmithBob2001 @CountDankulaTV Is English your first language?

@CountDankulaTV How is this a win for freedom of speech? Nobody was held liable for these crimes at all. In fact most of the public would of pled out because of the cost of litigation. You are so incredibly out of touch Dankula.

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

@xulikil @CountDankulaTV Hell, I thought Afroman was dead.

@CountDankulaTV The most hilarious part is how these cops gave themselves the Barbara Streisand effect. How many people hadn't heard of these songs before hearing about the trial?

@DamianCr0ss @CountDankulaTV Push harder dummy.

@CountDankulaTV Don't say "for bullshit reasons". He got targeted cause he's MAGA.

@SatoMiser @usedgov @A1Policy

Think about this. Really ponder and sit with it. Generation Z calls narcissistic vanity "looksmaxing". Imagine the parents of that generation, clearly on whom your education worked and the education of Generation Z indeed started at home. If what Government offers produces pudding for brains, maybe it does not work. We also have 40+ year-olds that cannot get usage of 'your' and 'you're' correct. And the people before you were so educated that they allowed Federal Reserve to be spawned so the Emancipation Proclamation became a mere obsolete evolution of slavery. Inflation-taxation slavery implemented while the "education system" taught patriotism. I wonder if anybody but me is awake.

Literacy starts at home.

@BrixCity17 @justinamash Carving what into what now?

@justinamash The deficit is the lowest it has ever been. It doesn’t help Democrats fight tooth and nail against every cut. It don’t help the media spun Musk’s DOGE involvement so hard that people were carving swastikas into Teslas.

The U.S. government just hit $39 trillion in debt under the president who repeatedly lied to the American people that he would pay it off.

@contigieux @justinamash

@justinamash He still has 3 years. If all that dough is fraud... fraud vitiates everything, i.e., it's not "our" debt!

@mattsheffield Jesus has forgiven them. Why can’t you?

Breaking: Former Christian right TV celeb Joseph Duggar has been charged with molesting a 9-year-old girl. His older brother, Josh, is currently in prison for CSAM possession. The Duggar family has been a major part of the Christian far right for years.

@HVYWeightHeroes "The guy that hit me the hardest was (old, fat) George Foreman." Young George would have juiced him like a grape.

World champ George Foreman pounds the big bag, circa 1973. One of the all-time most powerful punchers, Foreman boasts 68 KOs in 76 wins for a 90% KO percentage. "The guy that hit me the hardest was George Foreman." --Evander Holyfield #Heavyweight #History #Boxing

@crushkillcrush Big Chevy Energy

Had a dream the other night that I was mangled on blow & had soooooo much of it so woke up the next day feelin like the coolest guy around for about 15 seconds then shook my head bc dreams are bullshit then I scrubbed a patch of pink mould that had popped up in the corner of the

@lets_truck @Sparkpoodle1 “I DON’T NEED YOUR PERMISSION TO CHOOSE WHAT I EAT”

I don't need your permission to choose what I eat. That's it. That's the post. But since some of you apparently need more — let me explain this real slow. I mentioned I drink raw milk from a cow I know, on a farm I trust, raised the way food was raised for ten thousand years before a government agency decided you were too stupid to make that call yourself. The response? "You're dangerous." "You're going to kill someone." "How dare you say that publicly." Let me be crystal clear about something: I don't care. Not because I'm reckless. Because I'm free. This is the same country where you can legally smoke cigarettes, drink yourself into liver failure, eat fast food three times a day, and wash it down with enough high-fructose corn syrup to dissolve a transmission. All of that is perfectly legal. None of that gets a public intervention. But I drink milk from a cow I've personally vetted — and I'm a menace to society. You know what's actually dangerous? The idea that adults need a federal agency to decide what they're allowed to put in their own body. That's the thing that should terrify you. I'm not asking you to drink raw milk. I'm not telling you it's right for you. I'm not dismissing that there are people — immunocompromised, pregnant, very young — for whom it's a legitimate consideration. I am a healthy adult. I did my research. I know my source. I made my choice. The moment we accept that the government gets to override that — for our own good, of course — we've handed over something we're not getting back. And it won't stop at milk. It never stops at milk. One commenter told me "anyone raised on a ranch would never drink raw milk." Interesting theory. Completely wrong. Farm families have been drinking it for generations. Their kids have lower rates of asthma and allergies than city kids. The Amish have allergy rates so low that a doctor who set up a free clinic near their community couldn't find patients. But sure — the people closest to the source are the most afraid of it. Makes perfect sense. Here's the thing about freedom: it only means something when it includes choices other people disagree with. Easy choices don't need protecting. Comfortable choices don't need defending. Freedom exists precisely for the moments when someone looks at what you're doing and says "you shouldn't be allowed to do that." That's when it counts. Drink your ultra-pasteurized, hormone-disrupted, inflammatory dairy-flavored beverage from a factory farm if you want. That's your right. I'll respect it. Respect mine.

I can not understand what the big deal is with pasteurization? It's literally just heating milk for a set time then rapidly cooling it No chemicals, no high tech equipment, it's just heated milk

@lets_truck @Sparkpoodle1 $8 medical degree

@Sparkpoodle1 Tell me you don't understand the human microbiome without telling me you don't understand the human microbiome. Why are you so afraid of bacteria?

@Mithras49314064 @cirnosad Hey you blocked me like your low testosterone blocked your dreams of growing a tiny mustache. Soft.

@Mithras49314064 @cirnosad Good work there dummy.

BREAKING NEWS: 1. Iran vows to reduce GCC war participants's energy infrastructure to ash. (UAE, Saudi Arabia, Qatar) 2. Arabs has started evacuating all oil fields and refineries. 3. Iran stopped "answering the phone".