X WODEHOUSE🇺🇦

@SunTsu @GeorgeTakei A president rather astute had his judgment cast in repute Not for a bad bill Or just talking swill He should not have worn that tan suit!!!!

@MarkHalperin Whoa. Usually posts like this only come from accounts with lots of numbers in their username.

Shouldn't one of the requirements for a country to qualify to play in the World Cup that it be a country that people have heard of?

@TheTweetOfGod I would've believed this, but it didn't start with "Let's be honest" or "Not gonna lie."

Nobody in the history of the world who said "I'm just saying" was just saying.

@SickosCommittee Don't forget, Virginia Tech wound up scoring 3 points! I'm optimistic for more. I'm still broken hearted Paraguay didn't make it out of group D with 3 scoreless draws in 1998. They were 2/3 of the way there. With the expanded playoffs, a fan can dream...

CABO VERDE 🇨🇻

@GregAbbott_TX Well at least "loser" isn't a bigoted term.

What a loser Hochul is. During the Championship Playoffs it was announced that Texas ranks #1 for Fortune 500 HQs. A title once held by NY. Unlike the Knicks title, Texas’s lead over New York in business and new jobs will continue… forever.

@LucifersTweetz Ooh! Some holier-than-thou protests in the comments!

Charlie Kirk will not be attending tonight's UFC match at the White House. His neck hurts.

@RepJackKimble Another reason to be so glad Gov. Newsom wasn't able to gerrymander your seat away.

I have been made aware of the situation in San Recto. As it is part of my district I am monitoring the situation. I don’t know why ballots from LA would wind up here, but I’ve found a lot of strange things in San Recto over the years

@ZwebackHD Well, maybe, as long as they didn't score the only goal in garbage time. That would be too much to believe.

This Germany Curacao game shows why the expanded World Cup is so embarrassing. Can you imagine a serious team losing 7-1 to Germany before all these new teams were let in?

@DJRob6975 @magachrchpastr It's beautiful! I wouldn't be caught wearing it in public (and from your bio I'm guessing you wouldn't) but it's beautiful nonetheless!

@magachrchpastr We straight men are long overdue for celebration and recognition of our straightness. I’ve already started working on a t shirt.

As a conservative Christian pastor, I know I'm an easy target for some. But I bet my critics never had to sit with a grieving parent whose son was turned gay by a Pride t-shirt display in a Target store. When do we get a Straight People month??!!🙏🇺🇸

@magachrchpastr Agreed, also it can make real Americans feel powerless that t-shirts with guns on them don't help turn people pro-gun.

@Soddem_Hall @TheTweetOfGod @OneBadDude_ Well, to be fair, the alternative involving test tubes ain't pretty, either.

@TheTweetOfGod @OneBadDude_ That was not a thought I needed to have. Thanks, God... 🫤

Do you think it’s just a coincidence that the greatest president ever just happened to be born on flag day? Hell no! Donald Trump is a national treasure!

@weaponizeandrew @Hurricane_Eman @NYCMayor I dunno, I'm seeing lots of words but I don't know if they cohere into an honest to goodness speech.

@Hurricane_Eman @NYCMayor Love it when morons start with “speechless” and then follow it the fuck up with speech

SPEECHLESS. LFGK.

@supersaisonic @lilbabygandhi One day I will get sick of liking this. That day might even be today. I've been kept busy. Until then, I'll enjoy the journey.

Oooo I’m Zohran Mamdani my wife is super hot and my football team won its first Prem in 23 years and my basketball team is about to be champions for the first time since 1973. Literally grow up man.

@ChoppinNewark @AOC Yes, "Quiet, Piggy" is more their speed. I'm no big Knicks fan, but I know what's worse.

@AOC An alleged adult female playing political leader just posted "stank vibes." You and your voters are 2-digit iq children with zero economic understanding. I'm no big GOP fan, but Republicans are at least adults & wouldn't continue to support someone who casually says stank vibes.

THANK YOU TO THE PEOPLE WHO BLESSED MSG TODAY TO GET THE STANK VIBES OUT YOUR SERVICE IS APPRECIATED

@rossium x=probability he ever advances 1 square then x = 1/2 (probability he goes forward) + 1/2x^2 (probability he ever goes 1 squares forward * probability he ever goes 1 squares forward again) x^2-2x+1=0 x=1

This question is asked at Jane Street for $750k/year roles: > A drunk man stands 1 step from a cliff edge. > Every second he randomly steps forward or back with 50/50 odds. > What's the probability he eventually falls off? if you answered 50%, you just failed. drop your answer below. I'll reply to the right ones.

@AuburnJPJ @lpark1971 @3YearLetterman @kegsforsale @JeffreyToobin @Zoom Sheesh, that's Suzanne Luka.

@lpark1971 @3YearLetterman @kegsforsale @JeffreyToobin @Zoom Yore post reminds me of a Cheryl Crowe song…

Today is Pete Hegeseth’s 46th birthday. Here are some FACTS you won’t hear from the news: 7 kids 3 successful marriages 1 term as Secretary of State The corporate media won’t wish him a happy birthday because they hate the traditional nuclear family

@adamcarolla The left has Jimmy Kimmel who became more and better than what he was on the Man Show. The right has you, who did not.

The left loves George Floyd and hates Elon Musk, that’s all you need to know

@500greatalbums I knew about Curacao from Tintin.

This is the first FIFA World Cup where I’ve never heard of some of the countries taking part. #WorldCup

@3YearLetterman Gotta at least put @walterowensgrpe in the Hall of Very Good for sure!

It is time to found an official Twitter/X Hall of Fame and start inducting members

@MikeyDiLullo @3YearLetterman looks like he'll be spending more time with farmers if he's working at a place called prime ned's feed there chief

@3YearLetterman Prime Ned's Feed should be in here, Coach. It hasn't been the same since he sold the feed. Hopefully he's still at the tavern with his buddy Bill Henley

@RepJackKimble @HappyCaveBat @Roberto_Spanker Ali G missed out never interviewing you.

I said a hip-hop, the hippie, the hippie, to the hip hip hop, and you don’t stop the rockin’ To the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie, to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. Now what you hear is not a test, We’re the rappin’ GOP and we’re here to tell you about our Iran policy. You ever been in a fight that was never ending, the other side just wasn’t surrendering? So you declared victory like 10 or 12 times? Makin’ the call like you had infinite dimes. But your buddy keeps bombin Lebanon like he wants the war to go on and on. And it don’t stop and the bombs go boom, but you lost interest you want a ballroom. Well, you get the general idea. Peace out.

WTF?! A whole lot of these so-called celebrities who wouldn’t vote for Donald Trump had no trouble voting for Barack Obama or Joe Biden