Johnny Bitcoins

Buy Bitcoin

Instant payment and instant settlement with Bitcoin. Who will be the next company to roll this out?

@_ShardyJ Whole foods buys great companies, and then changes ingredients and replaces with crap. Sorry, whole foods is a shit coin.

Bitcoin is Whole Foods. USD is McDonald’s. One keeps you healthy long term. One feels good right now but is slowly destroying you. You already know which one most people choose.

@BTCBreadMan It’s 2026, you can’t say retards. It’s very offensive and racist. $350. Best and final.

I need to trigger more retards with my messaging, and monetization is of no consequence to me. That being said, how much would be a reasonable cash offer for an account with 260k followers and no monetization?

Bitcoin is the air in your tank when you’re scuba diving. Fiat is the air you breathe on land. One has infinitely more value.

@TedPillows I dunno man…bitcoin is looking solid here.

$BTC is hovering around the $71,000 level. Bitcoin had a bounceback from the $69,000 support zone yesterday, which shows the demand at the lows is still there. IMO, BTC could have one final bounceback before the big nuke.

@StackandRun @WOLF_Bitcoin_ 🎯

@WOLF_Bitcoin_ Now buy my shitcoin.

CHAMATH SAID "THERE IS A STRUCTURAL FAILING IN BITCOIN. NO FUNGIBILITY AND PRIVACY. SO BITCOIN CAN NEVER BE A STUCTURAL HOLDING IN A CENTRAL BANK"

Anyone know where @PrestonPysh went?

@JesusMartinez @krakenfx If you’re doing this right, you don’t need @coinbase or @krakenfx - just bitcoin in self-custody.

I left Coinbase for @krakenfx. Not because of one thing. Because of everything. Here's what most people don't realize about Kraken in 2026. They're not just a crypto exchange anymore. 11,000+ US stocks. 560+ cryptos. Gold. Oil. Futures. All in one account. Zero commission on stocks. And if you're just holding cash as a stablecoin, you're earning 2 to 4% APR automatically. Your bank gives you 0.5%. Some key things that made me switch: • @krakenpro fees start at 0.25% maker. Lower than most competitors at base level. • Instant USD withdrawals. 365 days a year. Try getting that from your bank. • USDG earns yield the moment it hits your account. No lockups. Paid weekly. • They've never been hacked. Never lost customer funds. Since 2011. • Wyoming SPDI charter. 100% reserve requirement on cash deposits. And then this happened. Nasdaq announced a partnership with Kraken on March 9. They're building tokenized versions of listed stocks together. Full governance rights. Voting. Dividends. The biggest tech stock exchange in the world chose Kraken. Oh and if you hold HBAR, Kraken is running a trading challenge right now. 300,000 HBAR reward pool. Trade the HBAR perp on Kraken Pro, compete based on volume. First 2,000 clients. Runs through March 23. For international users it gets even crazier. xStocks give you tokenized US equities trading 24/7 with up to 20x leverage in 110+ countries. Crypto exchanges are becoming the new brokerages. And Kraken is leading the charge.

@Simon_Ingari AI: I’ll do Gen Z’s job for free.

Manager: I have you scheduled for a meeting at 7 PM tomorrow. Gen Z: Is my attendance mandatory? Manager: Yes, we’re working with a client in another time zone. Gen Z: Okay, I’m happy to shift my hours to accommodate. Manager: Excuse me, no—you still start at 8 AM. Gen Z: If I’m working in the evening, then I’ll start later in the day. Manager: Okay, don’t watch the clock at this company. We work when we need to work. Gen Z: I’m contracted and paid for 40 hours a week, so that is what I work. Manager: That’s a career-limiting move. Tomorrow is a busy day; I’ll need you to start right promptly at 8:00 AM. Gen Z: Alright then, I will take the lieu time later this week. Manager: Again, that’s not how we operate at this company. You work hard when you need to, and you don’t watch the clock. Gen Z: Again, I work for the hours I’m paid for, and since overtime is not an option, I’ll go ahead and adjust my hours this week to accommodate the shift in the schedule. Manager: You’re not quite understanding the company culture we have here—we work all the time. Gen Z: And you’re not understanding that just because that is the way you do things does not mean that is how I’m required to do things as well. Manager: (Silence)

@business Bitcoin is coiled and ready to rip. Debasement of the dollar is why it exists.

Bitcoin is holding just above $70,000 as the Iran war stokes inflation concerns bloomberg.com/news/articles/…

@FoxNews @grok what % of American households is Bernie Sander worth?

SEN. SANDERS: “60% of our people living paycheck-to-paycheck, and one guy, Elon Musk, owns more wealth than the bottom 53% of American households.” “Think maybe that might be an issue that we should be talking about?"

@BTCBreadMan After The Bitcoin Therapist, Gladiator, and Gladiator’s parents, I think we’ve had enough demonetization.

Who should be the next Bitcoin influencer to get demonetized?

@BTCBreadMan Zero downside - you can roll to $115s next month. Make sure to subscribe to my podcast and smash that like button for more premium trading strategies.

@BTCSpend Seems risky but I may need to.

Full porting into STRC $105 calls has easily been my worst trade of 2026 so far. FUCK.

@TiffanyFong Don’t leave the seat up

Bitcoin is below $70,000 again.

@BTCBreadMan I got a lap dance in the champagne room this morning with Kit. She ended up inviting her friend in and I made them split two bottles of champagne. I ran your playbook. Next time their employer will pay! (They both asked me out as well. Should get a text any minute now).

I recently stopped tipping at restaurants. It’s not because I don’t appreciate the effort and dedication of the servers. I truly do. But this is the only form of protest that will result in them being paid a living wage by their employer. I’m doing it for the servers’ benefit.

@TedPillows Sounds good. How about now? Are you bullish now?

This bear market isn't over. Downtrend is still in. I will tell you when I become bullish again🔔

@Budgetdog_ Correct

A personal home is NOT an investment

@MDBitcoin Welcome to the club

I’ve concentrated an enormous portion of my wealth into Bitcoin, probably past the point of conventional comfort. But I hold it unlevered, with no margin debt attached, which means there’s no mechanism forcing me out. My financial life is now deeply linked to BTC. And the more I study it, the more certain I become about its long-term trajectory.

@BitcoinRachy In my ex-wife’s new boyfriend’s backyard. Want the address?

Where do you hide your Bitcoin cold wallet?