CannibalSheep

FINALLY FOUND THE ONLY GUY WHO ACTUALLY READS MY TIMELINE (IT’S ME)

Clavicular avoids jail time after accepting a plea deal for shooting a dead alligator, receiving 6 months probation, community service, and a wildlife safety course.

2 DAYS AGO: COINBASE FIRES 15% OF STAFF. SAYS AI WILL HANDLE IT. TODAY: COINBASE DOWN FOR 3+ HOURS THE AI SAID I QUIT TOO $COIN

Protoclone is the most anatomically accurate android in the world.

Michael Saylor says Lily Phillips stole his idea of having sex with 100 men

@AutismCapital Source?

Did not have sex with Kate. Goodnight everyone.

[🌲] SAYLOR: WE WILL PROBABLY SELL SOME BITCOIN TO PAY A DIVIDEND JUST TO INOCULATE THE MARKET JUST TO SEND THE MESSAGE THAT WE DID IT

82,000 US DOLLARS FOR ONE BITCOIN

.@HSI_HQ and @HSISaintPaul are zeroing in on the rampant fraud of taxpayer dollars in Minnesota. We will stop at nothing to end the defrauding of the American people.

@TheBabylonBee few

Man Jiggles Toilet Handle, Thus Exhausting His Knowledge Of Plumbing buff.ly/Rrkz4H6

@boldleonidas Wow

This is actually amazing.

holy fuck, a hair dryer at a Paris airport broke Polymarket weather markets & made someone $34,000 richer - polymarket was settling Paris temperature bets on a single Météo France sensor sitting near the Charles de Gaulle runway perimeter - basically unguarded - the guy bought the long-shot outcome (like "22°C" when everyone expected 18°C) for pennies, since nobody thought it'd hit - then he walked up to the probe and briefly heated the air around it with a portable heat source, spiking the reading just long enough to register as the daily max - temperature snapped back to normal in minutes, the market resolved in his favor, and he cashed out - twice, on April 6 and April 15, before Météo France caught on and filed charges hyperstitions.

Day 16 of never happened before - today longest daily win streak in history +1. The speed of reversal will be shocking.

The United Kingdom has officially approved a lifetime smoking ban for individuals born after 2008.

Transports are now record overbought on price momentum life of data. 50+ years.

The only way is UP.

@RonPaulWasR1ght @BRICSinfo Wow

@BRICSinfo I hope our politicians do something about it before this happens

JUST IN: 🇮🇱🇺🇸 Israeli shekel hits 30-year high against the US dollar.

Bitcoin Percentage of Supply in Profit/Loss

Strategy has acquired 34,164 BTC for ~$2.54 billion at ~$74,395 per bitcoin and has achieved BTC Yield of 9.5% YTD 2026. As of 4/19/2026, we hodl 815,061 $BTC acquired for ~$61.56 billion at ~$75,527 per bitcoin. $MSTR $STRC strategy.com/press/strategy…