ComfyTeddySocks 🎗□

@somersetlurcher @GSpellchecker Your fault for sitting near the bar then, anyone with more than 5 braincells sits away from the bar so they can hear their mates

@ComfyTeddySocks @GSpellchecker I just love sitting in a pub, enjoying my pint, chatting to friends with a snaking line of people encircling me.

I'm generally optimistic about the future of Great Britain. Whenever I see 'Britain has fallen' rhetoric over immigration, knife crime and Islamic terrorism, I think it's a bit hysterical. But we simply cannot hope to survive as a nation if we continue to tolerate queuing at the bar.

@DerrickWan58019 @Emzyl_ Someone will look at united going from 7th to 3rd under carrick after a manager that took them from 8th to 15th and say "yeah this is actually an improvement". Idiot

@Emzyl_ Someone will look at this and still want Carrick as manager next season. United fans never cease to amaze me🤣🤣

Manchester United will now go 14yrs without a league title. But everyday their fans say they're up there with Barca and Madrid. Will Barca and Madrid go 14yrs without winning the league or UCL??

@GSpellchecker I swear old people just choose to be retarded

They walk amongst us.

@Impitoyable @GSpellchecker What a stupid concept, are all old people this stupid

@ComfyTeddySocks @GSpellchecker More or less, yes.

@StreeUnit @ManUtd I mean it's high quality and 130 pages, it's 9 per magazine if you get the subscription. I've had both issues so far and I'd argue it's a reasonable price if you're interested in it

@ManUtd *spits tea out* A BASTARD TENNER?!

What a beauty 😮‍💨 The second edition of United magazine is out now — don't miss it! 📖

@d4nnytye They can't seem to comprehend that a good amount of people from this country are just descended from farmers that never left their home county never mind the country

do white americans never consider that it is much more likely that they are descendants of colonialists than an english person who lives in england is

@ReadItSaidIt Favourite and greatest don't mean the same thing

Got abused when I said this is the career highlight of the 32 year old supposed legend Imagine any former united player gassing up an fa Cup assist as their greatest moment

@4pf_pixel Talking about what it means for people to consider him for it.* he said this in response to wayne rooney thinking he should win it and he said its an honour that anyone thinks he should win it

Welcome to England, where a club captain who’s already led his team to a trophyless season by December is talking about what the PFA Player of the Year award means to him.

@Esau_Matsiko People said things about all of these, don't lie. People are talking about the title race because there's 5 games left of the season and it's the most important part of the season, of course they're talking about the top 3.

Man Utd finished 15th last season - No one said nothing Liverpool won the league and 500M and is fighting to finish 5th - No one is saying nothing Chelsea has lost 5 games in a row after sowing 1.2B - No one is saying nothing Spurs is about to get relegated - No one is saying nothing Arsenal is pushing Man City on the title and it’s what everyone is talking about. DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!

@cosmonautscarf @SUJUSHlDAE_ I mean British summers are miserable and sitting inside when it's 35 is horrible. But I could walk in that heat easily so long as I brought water

@SUJUSHlDAE_ i guess ur not British and we seem to have some horrible heat but they’re right cos 35 is fucking insane. it is 13 degrees where i’m at rn and i’ve been topless under a fan all day. i went out for 5 minutes and literally felt sick from a headache it gave me at 16 this morning.

no way you meant that seriously

@gazcol Are you stupid? Think about context briefly, have any of those managers taken a club off the back of their 2 worst seasons in decades and managed to get 3rd?

Nothing against Carrick, he’s a good man but if he thinks that game was massive, especially after the career he had at United as a player, then he shouldn’t be anywhere near the job Imagine the likes of Fergie, Mourinho, Ancelotti, Guardiola, Enrique saying being 3rd is massive

@revivebnny Idk if this is bait or you're actually stupid but this is a show they did weekly and every week they staged a clip like this where they made it look like harry hit someone, maybe 30 seconds after this they'll carry on and everyone watching knows it's staged.

@CTonTour47 @thegingerwig City fans have this weird belief that the first treble doesn't count because united didn't win the prem the year before

@thegingerwig United no?

The Treble City x1 Everything else is a Treble

@BarcaSphereX @Footballtweet The official reason is that they had an eye specialist in that confirmed that grey is the hardest colour to see quickly at distance, especially with fans behind them

Lol. Reality check. Even today fans still have some bias over certain jerseys and believe that some give them luck while others bring bad luck. On close examination, there could be a mental shift in the minds of the players when they don certain jerseys under certain circumstances. Some study has to be done on this to really know if there is a correlation between jerseys and team performance. They may find something or just wipe out our ignorance.

📅 On this day, in 1996, Manchester United went 3-0 down at half-time to Southampton away from home. Sir Alex Ferguson blamed the 3-0 score-line on the grey kit they had on so ordered the team to change to their blue kit during the half-time break. They went on to lose the match 3-1.

@Lemonbriz Remember when he said similar stuff about casemiro and then casemiro did really well and he had to eat his own words on live tv? Wait and see

🚨🎙️ Jamie Carragher on Harry Maguire’s contract extension "Listen, what on earth are Manchester United doing giving Harry Maguire a new contract at 33? Fair play, he's had a decent little run lately and shown some leadership, but this is disgraceful. I played over 700 games for Liverpool, knew when my legs had gone and it was time to call it – this lad's career has been up and down for years, and now he's becoming a real liability. Slow, questionable decision-making and football IQ, and at his age that pace isn't coming back. They're supposed to be rebuilding, yet they're tying themselves down to him for another year? Even with a pay cut, it's wasted wages on a player who should've been moved on. This isn't smart planning, it's pure sentimentality. Liverpool wouldn't touch it. Decent lad who's done bits, but this deal is absolute madness from United again. Disgraceful."

@hahahahahahhaht @TomDutty Fym show you the original tweet, are you blocked by the fa cup or smthn

@TomDutty Someone show me the original tweet 😂

Why is every team two words?

@ok6ixx This did the rounds on tumblr 10 years ago, you're not funny and this didn't happen to you

@geordiejosh "Went 0 for 3" you do realise the transfer window hasn't happened yet so you can't talk about it in the past tense

Look at the replies. Manchester United football club you can never be taken seriously as an institution ever again. You act like you can roll your shoulders and take who you want, “we’ll take Tonali, Bruno G & Hall.” You went 0 for 3 😭😭😭 I. TOLD. YOU. Listen to me. 😉

@Biyo_lar I mean the man himself said if he'd subbed on park ji sung at half time like he'd thought about and put him on messi it would go differently

Fergies arrogance. Our 08/09 team was far better than that Barcelona team, but we couldn't play their style of football and beat them. If we had played the way we did in 07/08 we'd have pummeled them. Chelsea, who were a worse team should have eliminated Barca. But Fergie wanted to win in style. The 10/11. They were far better than us. If we played it 20 times, we'd have lost 19.