Egg Czar 🥚👑

@executejudges How would you like it delivered

@EarthBrah Can you send me one?

I put prosciutto on a hotdog. AMA

@DiesToShuffler That was a prior stroke of genius x.com/EarthBrah/stat…

@EarthBrah Did you also put eggs on it

@TheBigGoofah True. If you can't find an opportunity then you could ask a few of the people who sit near her if they know the family, might lead to an introduction that way.

@witlegit @milkandmarrow Date idea: we kidnap Whitney and make her regret this

@milkandmarrow @EarthBrah Stop it both of you if you don't at least go on one date I will perish

tard wife.

@Brian_Sauve Gork, please moff me up

A sentence Lexy really just said: "Do people really do that? That whole gorkmoffing thing?" My brothers and sisters in Christ, she was looking for the word "looksmaxxing."

Literally what palpatine saw

@MurrayHillGuy1 Is he gonna drop a course on being a con man?

My friend takes every girl on a 2nd date to a psychic he’s friends with. She looks the girl dead in the eyes and goes, “I’ve never said this before… but you two have an incredibly rare connection.” Apparently has a 100% success rate

@TheBigGoofah If she's skittish I'd probably try to approach when the couple is with her and talk to all of them. That breaks the ice a little

@lowandblisfully Ticks bites are worse but they're easier to avoid

@EarthBrah there’s just something quaint about being harassed by mosquitoes

The silver lining of the tick incursion of the 2020s is that I’ve become indifferent, even fond, of chiggers, mosquitoes, and spiders

@curtise3 If you build it, they will come

😌

@milkandmarrow Wife who wears a bread helmet into the movie, husband who wears a cheese fondue fanny pack

@EarthBrah You just say its part if your identity and claim they are triggering you

@milkandmarrow I wonder if they'd let you wear it into a movie theater

@EarthBrah Its the crown she deserves 💖💅👸🏻👸🏻👸🏻

@jordan_the_leaf Start some brain exercises. Do a bulk

@EarthBrah That's why i feel so lightheaded

Heavy is the head that contains the sizable cerebrum

@TheBigGoofah What's your opening move

@legitleavitt Good point. $14k will be my next ask

@EarthBrah I feel like you should have held out for more.

Pasteurize your milk, folks. Don't be stupid.

@lowlyworm_ @OldHollowTree This is so much better than her cynical commie song.

@EarthBrah @OldHollowTree Little boxes, on the hillside Little boxes filled with honeybees Little boxes on the hillside Filled with honey, oh so sweet And the bumblers in the boxes Go roll in the pollen And they wiggle, and dance With their butts in the air 🎶

You can just sit with your wife and look at your beehives. It’s very good to do, you know.

@jordan_the_leaf Based. The rest of it is just crossing a few t's and dotting a few i's

@EarthBrah I asked her name today so we're basically married

Couple weeks in a row now she's sat a couple seats down from me despite dozens of other seats in the church