Flim Flam McScam

@The_Kyle_Mann Isn't that all supposed to culminate with Sam and kids riding out to greet King Aragorn at the Brandywine bridge?

My immediate reaction to Colbert writing a LOTR movie was - "No. Just no." Yes, I know he's a LOTR nerd. And it's at least a step above Rings of Power that someone involved in the project has been in the same room as Tolkien's books. But I neither trust anyone in modern-day Hollywood to do the great works of literature justice nor believe Colbert shares Tolkien's faith and values (and yes, I know he claims to be a Catholic). THAT BEING SAID, A FEW CONSIDERATIONS as I think the announcement was kinda confusing and there are some interesting bits of lore in Tolkien's writings that may shed some light on where this thing is going. 1.) The movie's stated goal appears to be getting chapters 3-8 of Fellowship on film - chapters mostly skipped by Peter Jackson for various reasons. This is the section of the book where Frodo fakes the move to Crickhollow, then meets Tom Bombadil and then faces the Barrow-wight (I think about a week's worth of time in the book). 2.) The movie uses a framing device set 14 years after Frodo leaves Middle-Earth. The framing device itself seems to have two concurrent plots: A PLOT --- Sam, Merry, and Pippin retrace their steps from the Shire through the Barrow-downs, perhaps thinking or talking to one another about what happened back in the day, and this is what sends us back to chaps 3-8 of Fellowship. --- --- (This journey is not mentioned anywhere in Tolkien's writings as far as I can tell. It's completely made up for this. Although, yes, I believe at the time it is set, all 3 of these Hobbits were still living in or near the Shire, and they certainly could have gone on walks together). B PLOT --- "Sam's daughter, Elanor, has discovered a long-buried secret and is determined to uncover why the War of the Ring was very nearly lost before it even began." This also is not mentioned anywhere in Tolkien - HOWEVER - Sam and Elanor do have a conversation when she's about 14, which was published in a couple of Christopher Tolkien's collections. The conversation centers around Elanor asking why beautiful things are fading away. Sam encourages his daughter that there are still good things in this world. And then Samwise reveals to her the secret that Frodo said he may be able to follow the elves to Valinor one day as well. OK SO LET ME EXPLAIN! No - it is too much; let me sum up. What we have here is Frodo & Friends traveling through the Old Forest, meeting Tom Bombadil, getting captured by the Barrow-wights, and then being rescued by said Bombadil. Told through a non-canon framing device (though plausible enough) of the 3 remaining Hobbits, 14 years after the books/movies end, following the old route East. And meanwhile, Sam's daughter is searching for some "long-buried secret." What could this be? Who knows. I will wildly speculate anyway: The movie's description says she uncovers how the War of the Ring was "nearly lost before it began." Since we know the flashback portions of the movie culminate with the Barrow-wight, it's likely to be centered around that. It may have something to do with the sword Merry got there that ended up slaying the Witch-King. Remember in the first movie, how Aragorn handed the hobbits swords and was like "here take these." (Me and my friends booed in the theater back in 2001 lol "THOSE ARE BARROW-BLADES! GIVE US BOMBADIL!"). Now, in this version, they'll be talking it over and be like "Remember how they said Aragorn just gave us those blades? That's not how it happened!" or something. Funny and too meta maybe - but it's very consistent with Tolkien (see his retcon of the Hobbit woven into the story). Also, in the book, Frodo very nearly puts the Ring on - imagining himself abandoning his friends and running free - before he fights the temptation and bravely faces the wight. There could be some plot device where she realizes how close they came to failing the quest right then and there. Elanor and Sam's conversation is centered around the slow fading away of beauty. This would tie in with Bombadil's talk in the books, where he talks about the thousands of years he's watched kingdoms rise and fall, etc. So I suspect whatever this side plot is about, it will all tie together nicely with Bombadil and the group's walk retracing their steps. In conclusion: Should you be excited about this movie? No. Do not get excited about anything from Hollywood these days. That is electing the way of pain. But does this have the potential to be faithful to Tolkien? I think it does. I think it's weird that they kind of buried the lede — if they'd framed it as Fellowship of the Ring: The Untold Story or something, or TOM BOMBADIL AND FRIENDS RUN AROUND NAKED ON THE GRASS, I'd pre-order my ticket on the spot. Do I think they'll pull it off? Eh. Remains to be seen. Even if Colbert's writing is strong and lore-faithful, it could be executed poorly. But I'm not as dismissive as I was at first (or really, have been about all Tolkien media in the past 20 years). There are some hurdles: I assume they'll need to use the same actors and de-age them for the flashback shots, which always looks kinda wonky. There are issues of being consistent with the original films. If they're basically trying to shoot an hour or two of content that could have seamlessly fit into Fellowship - that's a high bar to clear. Jackson's involved, yes, but he didn't always get Tolkien right either, and I suspect he won't direct. And Colbert & Hollywood despise a lot of the values Tolkien held dear. So I don't trust them, but who knows. And if they fail, well, there's always this thing called "a book" you can read that's way better than even Jackson's films.

The "social conservatives" were right about everything. We have been right about everything for decades. Literally everything. We told you that if you tolerate euthanasia even for the terminally ill, even for the "extreme cases," very soon it will be used to put down anyone the state deems inconvenient or burdensome. And that is exactly what has happened, just as we said it would.

@Knight_Nin @SandyofCthulhu He also kept writing past Sam coming home after Frodo sailed west in LOTR proper. There were chapters about Sam reading to his brood and planning to visit Aragorn at a shire bridge. Someone, maybe CS Lewis, told him he had to end the story.

@FMcscam @SandyofCthulhu Famously? No, he "famously" tried writing about events after the War of the Ring but could never get more than a few pages in because everything under the rule of Aragorn was too peaceful and mundane.

Is she rebellious at her dad’s too-strict policies, and she goes on a dangerous quest and Sam learns how to be a better dad?

@RobProvince Can't think of a show that was hit harder by The Revolution than Doctor Who. It's so unbelievably bad now that it can't be fixed.

@RMBee My wife has always maintained that 12 ANGRY MEN is leftist slop. She has always been smarter than me.

This list is PRETTY GOOD. It's missing some more literary titles...

@HousebotGuy This story is a perfect display of why authoritarian woke socialist governments are going to destroy society, possibly humanity itself, and then the planet.

@ryanpattison @IMAO_ True. The last few were some of the OG "turn on some damn lights" movies.

@IMAO_ It’s an aesthetic choice. Compare the first hp film to the last 3.

People wonder why movies today are so darkly lit, and it's because we don't know how to light them like movies in the past. All the gaffers have retired or passed away, and there is no one left who knows how light works. Is it a particle or a wave? It's confusing.

@_FreshCakes @IMAO_ They made movies for 35 years before average people had tube TVs.

@IMAO_ I always thought that classic movies were optimized for tube TVs.

my daughter Luna loves Harry Potter she saw the new trailer and started crying “why, dad? why did they make Snape African-American,” she said I said it’s okay, you can say “black.” black people actually prefer it she said “black people aren’t a monolith” I said yes I understand but on average, black people prefer “black” to “African-American” then I explained that they made Snape black because of transgender homosexual communism, a belief system that causes liberals to ruin good things for no reason we threw our arms around each other and sobbed

@Signal99Cinci Keep voting Democrat that'll solve the problems for sure.

@DesiBenton @SameOldNancy @acluohio How about the White House?

@SameOldNancy @acluohio Keep the children out of drag bars. Not complicated. If they're showing up at your church or school, talk to the pastor or superintendent. The Ohio General Assembly ought to have higher priorities.

🚨An exceptionally bad afternoon at the Ohio Statehouse. HB 249 and HB 347 infringe on our right to free speech and bodily autonomy. Lawmakers are violating our civil liberties by attempting to ban drag and restrict access to abortion. We will fight these bills in the Senate. acluohio.org/press-releases…

@wosunews Just tell us the text of the bill.

Indecent exposure bill passes Ohio House, as critics say it could criminalize some drag shows wosu.pm/4sBr61D

I’m dead.

@JoeTomlin74 @NolteNC Not fake. Just crazy.

@NolteNC So, the voicemail that I heard of Mia talking about this was fake?

Woody Allen did not marry his adopted daughter. He did not adopt Soon Yi. He was never a father figure to Soon Yi. He never lived with Mia or her kids. Woody Allen did not cheat on his wife. He wasn’t married to Mia. They never even lived together. Two states found Woody innocent of the molestation allegation. He was never even indicted because it was so ridiculous.

There's still time to make Ron DeSantis, first of his name, king of Florida We have 50 states, let's do monarchy in one and see how it goes

@SDOHnews @ATFColumbus @FBICincinnati @OhioAG @CincyPD @OSHP LFG

Today, U.S. Attorney Gerace, joined by @ATFColumbus, @FBICincinnati, @OhioAG, @CincyPD @OSHP & Ohio Department of Public Safety, announced nine new federal firearms cases & provided an update on our work to reduce gun violence in Cincinnati. Read more here: justice.gov/usao-sdoh/pr/u…

McCarthy was a prejudiced bigot who tried to persecute and discriminate against communists. But I’m sure he had his negatives too.

@jeremymstamper No

To all the people saying “Yes!”, has it occurred to you that if we execute him, we’re no better than he is?

People keep posting this but nobody has an actual solution to this problem. What are we supposed to do? Execute him?

@TomSiebert @Sargon_of_Akkad 48 frames per second, instead of 24.

@Sargon_of_Akkad I only watched the first one, in cinema, that super hi-def tech or whatever. The tech was offputting -- you could see the makeup! It looked like a massive stage play put to film! -- but the story felt hollow & desperate, too. I never watched the next 2, almost surely never will.

So I tried watching the edit of the Hobbit that everyone sent me, and I would like to withdraw this tweet. The film is just shit.