Helleanor Rigby

He's not a Nice Guy unless he's from the French town of Nice. Otherwise he's just a sparkling fuckboy.

When my kids start acting up in a store, we don’t make threats or beg them to stop. We start slow dancing. We make THEM beg US to stop. If they start up again, we move on to hip hop. If these kids think they’re going to out-embarrass me, guess again—I used to wear a half shirt.

Who the fuck takes down their tree the day after Christmas? Enjoy your life a little bit for christ’s sake.

Dear Santa, You didn’t get me the thesaurus I asked for and now I’m mad. You made me really mad. I’m mad at you.

@HenpeckedHal Fourth grade?! When did he become practically a grown up

“A kid that never gets in trouble is just not living life to the fullest,” my son, the fourth grade philosopher

@ThomasLK007 @Parkerlawyer As someone who works in healthcare, I can tell you with utmost confidence that no... This is not what "people" do. People often let their spouse navigate situations like this alone, and still pressure said spouse to leave the hospital because they won't fill in for them at home

@Parkerlawyer i mean that is just what people do...you drop everything in situations like that, no questions asked.

I texted my husband at 10am that I received bad news about my father’s health and within 15 mins he was at my office, had already called my assistant to clear my calendar (before I could even walk to her office) and put me in the car to go to the hospital. He sat with me for 8 hours in an uncomfortable chair, he lost his entire work day including a court appearance, made sure my mom and I stayed hydrated (important), asked questions to doctors that I couldn’t think of, and never once complained. I am sure there are millions of partners who have done the same in a loved one’s time of need but in my line of work it is easy to forget what love truly looks like. If they want to they will.

I'm speaking my mind more and more and nothing changes. Zero stars.

my favorite thing to do after getting my coffee and sitting down logging into work is to scroll social media for a few mins to 6 hours.

@dadmann_walking Omg. A one on one hug is bad enough.

I got threatened with a group hug tonight. Scariest moment of my life honestly

@RealRodLacroix So awesome ♥️ I dragged my 13 year old out of bed to see them just like my dad did when I was a kid.

Northern lights in Southern New Hampshire tonight!

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

I have a stack of books on my nightstand that I haven’t had time to read, so naturally the only solution to this problem is to buy another book.

Have to share a closet with my husband for the first time and ew his clothes are touching my clothes.

It takes all of my willpower to refrain from petting the security dogs at the airport.

What’s the hot goss now that the Rapture didn’t come?

My husband immediately took the trash out when l asked him to and my 3 year old said, 'I'm so proud of you for listening.' Seems like my job here is done.

The next time someone asks you why you watch so much true crime just say “research” and don’t elaborate

My 8yo was complaining how when his friend was over, he'd just drop any toy he played with on the ground and made a huge mess. I said it sounded like someone I know. And my son asked who.

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today