Craig Keyworth

If you’ve not managed to check out issue 41 of @rustsports yet - it’s the weekend - kick back with a brew or beer & take a look. Better still subscribe. Great photos, features & a great read (plus my bit..) & it’s free. #AllOfTheThings #PlusAMidLifeCrisis. RustSports.com

Also @eBay_UK Why? This is still not showing in my account. Likewise non of my other sales.

@eBay_UK You’ve charged me an insertion fee and a buy it now fee - But when I listed the item it clearly stated ‘List for Free’ now. Charged £14.99 for a BIN fee that disappeared the instant someone placed a bid! FB Marketplace seemingly like a better prospect! #Scamsters

@fharris2011 @TonyDowson5 Francis, had you ever tried that you’d realise you’d just be another guy with a vivid imagination of his own masculinity, and a sore foot. The OP’s story never happened, which you should know really, but you kicking a cyclist is even less likely. Behave.

@TonyDowson5 One little tap with a foot as they pass by. Bye bye bikey

Just had a cyclist tell me to watch where I'm going when I was walking on the pavement.

Fu*king printers. Do we honestly believe the non use of ridiculously expensive OEM print ink and the distinct lack of the printers ability thereafter to see my wifi, print a packing slip or function in any way is un related? There isn’t a printer that’s not a total piece of 💩

@PintSizedFarmer The stink equivalent of swallowing a fly.

In today’s highbrow farm news, Mavis the farm collie has rolled in pig slurry and is now operating as a mobile biohazard. The smell is so appalling it makes your eyes water. I took her out to air off. She rolled in sheep poo. We met a couple of walkers and heard a very posh “Oh, I say!” as Mavis thundered past. We went to look for wildlife. Everything downwind knew we were coming before we even stepped in the woods. Mavis then found some fox poo. She's had a full hosepipe bath and still smells like a health and safety violation. The dreaded Fairy Liquid may be the only way forward.

@freethinker967 @Bikery1966 @MrChilliTech @cyclist_andyc (No tolerance of the intolerant is a fabulously ironic line in the bio btw. Well done 🫡)

@freethinker967 @Bikery1966 @MrChilliTech @cyclist_andyc Hahaha. ‘Freethinker’ sounds like every other angry, hard thinking, click bait reading Middle Englander I’ve ever met.

The driver of this 1931 Alfa Romeo 6C 1750 Gran Sport Spider by Zagato demonstrates the textbook method of passing 2 cyclists on a fast section of B road in the Yorkshire Dales.

@Autoweltmedia He’s been shooting tigers 😄 Possibly storage of an investment. Unlikely ‘abandoned’ There’ll be detractors suggesting they would put it somewhere safer if they had it, but they don’t have it, and the owner could well have much more expensive cars in those safer spots already.

Someone just happened to stumble upon an abandoned BMW E46 M3. That was me. Why do people abandon their cars? And I left the licence plate unblurred for a reason.

@ButternutBox - Seven redirects to pause a subscription, then a load of BS / tell us why you’re doing so (but we’ll redirect your to our help instead of pausing a sub’) so I just cancelled and we’ll tell you why here. The last three delivery’s were defrosted. Dog was ill.👎

@YrHenGwrcyn @MattTakeThree There’s some funny experts on here. #Guaranteed

@MattTakeThree Anything that's lived its life north of a geographic line from south Wales to east Anglia, guaranteed to be rotten underneath. Only tend to buy vehicles now that have south of England reg numbers.

Idly browsing for a more suitable car. What's your biggest turn offs on adverts? For me so far: * Smoked or 4D plates * Chinese tyres * Fault lights "but drives fine" * Doncaster or Bradford location * Advert in Slavic * Priced at £2k over average Fire away with the rest

@MattTakeThree @grayheath56 @ajbates86 Demanded it was released? Did you think you could retain it?

@grayheath56 @marcogroenhof @ajbates86 wasn't it a mum with an Audi, who cried in the waiting room when her car failed test, and she couldn't afford tyres? Demanded it was released and her dad came down

@m8mediaphone @AutoInfatuation Assume you drive a Mondeo. If you’ve anything tasty people take photos. If you want to blend in. Blend in. Don’t show us your boobs, then shout don’t look.

@AutoInfatuation Serious question. Did you have car owners permission to post photo? I would be bloody furious if it was me, I don’t want people / customers / some family to ‘read’ where I am or have frequented. You could cause some poor chap grief without meaning to. 👀 Coldplay cam incident!

Brancaster car park spot 📸 2022 Aston Martin V8 Vantage - F1 Edition 😮‍💨🇬🇧

@ctrlaltrefuel @modernheroestv Hahahahahahaha. No.

I dunno. An Amazon van will have been lightly loaded for much of its life with a relatively clean payload. Amazon will have fastidiously tracked it while it was on the road and probably looked after it when it wasn't. Imagine how much harder it would have been if it were full of bags of cement, Red Bull cans and fat builders. P

Loads of these around at the moment. Had a much harder life than the mileage suggests of course, can’t think of a van more abused than an Amazon one Shame they’re so incapable really, lot of big van for basically no money

@Russats_LFC @Tedisiek @London_W4 They’d nick the stands just for sport.

@Two7Five @Tedisiek @London_W4 Perhaps it’s an anti theft tactic?? No one taking that car

On my way to this morning’s photoshoot and as I wander through Kensington, I can’t help thinking that when the owner parked this Porsche, it had four wheels.

@Tedisiek @London_W4 @Russats_LFC Probably faster over speed bumps tho! 🤣

@London_W4 @Russats_LFC We used to lower our cars and aim for the Japanese stanced look. This London look isn’t going to catch on 🤣 totally impractical

@TomBlackmore90 Didn’t they have a plastic bag for a rear window?

If you know, you know… I’ve not had one of these for a long time, but I kind of built my reputation buying & selling these from 2013-2018…& not many good ones surface anymore 🤪

What a surprise! A nation of panic buyers have boosted the economy (and the government coffers) by buying over priced fuel. They’ll be pleased as punch when the CG Tax bills come rolling in from the profiteering retailers. Next shocker - Electric car sales up! 🐑

@hjwakerley Was wanting to cycle this eves. If you’ve removed your hardtop I’m going to get wet. I’ve kept ours hidden for fear of the sun going in…. #KnowWhoToBlame

Spent the evening shuffling cars around, taking hard-tops off (cue the rain) and generally checking that they are all in good order. As a little girl this would have been my dream. So very fortunate to be able to spend my life with someone that loves it as much as I do. Quattroporte might be a car too far though… let’s see 😂 Ps filling these two cost £266… which is probably what the Maserati will be worth in 10 years.

@ukboomers #BeyondParody

I had to charge £200 for extra cleaning on our Cornwall Airbnb this week. £400 a night and look what they did. Wine rings on the slate. Cups everywhere. A candle burnt to nothing. In our day you left a place better than you found it. Now they walk away like it's a hotel.

@RivianRuckus @__el__toro__ My eyes! #TooMuchRummaging

@__el__toro__ Same same. Let’s see your punch drawers

If you know what this is, own it yourself, and use it, we can be friends.