Al-Ameen

crazy how Planktons wife is known for nagging and guess what her name is

So I posted in December that I had been made redundant after 35 years Well I’ve only gone and landed a job 😊 a complete change of direction for me I’ve become a Chauffuer 👀 I’ve gone from scruffs to work to now going like this And yes I realise i have first day at school look

THEY. TORTURED. A. ONE. YEAR. OLD. BABY. THEY. TORTURED. A. ONE. YEAR. OLD. BABY. THEY. TORTURED. A. ONE. YEAR. OLD. BABY. THEY. TORTURED. A. ONE. YEAR. OLD. BABY.

Israeli soldiers torture a one-year-old child in Gaza, including burning his leg with a cigarette and inserting a nail into his leg, according to a report, to pressure his father to make confessions trtworld.com/article/346872…

My neighbor called me one day and handed me her apartment keys. She said she was leaving the country and wanted me to help her find buyers for her furniture and electrical appliances. I took the keys, and after four days, she called to tell me she had landed safely. After two months, I finally found someone, through a friend, who was interested in buying everything. I called her, and she negotiated with the guy. In the end, he agreed to take everything for 3 million, fortunately, she accepted. Just as the guy was about to make payment, my neighbor’s sister showed up and stopped everything. She called her sister and said she had found another buyer who would pay 5 million. I apologized to the buyer I brought and handed the keys over to the sister. My neighbor also called to apologized, and that was it. The next day, the sister came with a truck and started packing everything. After she finished, she came to my apartment and told me there was no buyer. She said she was taking everything to her house because she just got married and needed them. She added that she would pay her sister whenever she had the money. I was just looking at her in shock. Two weeks later, my neighbor found out what her sister did and called again, this time she asked me to help her arrange police here in Nigeria to arrest her. That she wants to teach her sister a bitter lessons. I just laughed. “Arrange police for your crazy sister? Abeg, I no dey put mouth for family matter.”

There's some rubbish Nigerian Founders will say that you won't dip the level of rubbish until their American or diasporan peer says the same thing.

If you’re a Muslim and this appears on your timeline, kindly retweet it so it can reach those who may not have completed their ṣalāh today. May this act serve as a reminder and stand as a witness for us on the Day of Qiyaamah.

(BTW: You do not need to know anything about fintech, very few of us did when we joined.) Interesting

I remember reading a story that 9/11 caused a divorce. A woman’s husband worked in the twin towers, and he was having an affair. He took that day off and spent it with his affair partner in a hotel. He didn’t know what happened yet, so when his wife called him freaking out asking if he’s okay and asking where he is, he casually just told her “yeah, I’m just heading into a meeting right now.” 💀

My English Professor last semester was complaining to us about how the school library was charging him for losing a book he'd returned. I work in the library, so after class I did some poking around and found the book on the shelf and took it to the head librarian. It turned out it just hadn't been checked in, which was an easy enough fix. I wrote an email to the Professor letting him know that I'd "taken care of the problem" and it "shouldn't bother him anymore," signed it with my full name, and sent it. Now might be a good time to mention that I have a very Italian name. For the rest of the semester, my roommate and classmates referred to me as the leader of the Librarian Mafia.

The ultimate Woke boss

🗣️: صديقي لديه مزرعة صغيرة، ولكنه يعاني من مشكلة صغيرة، وهي أنه يتعرض دائما للمطاردة من الخنازير البرية التي تتواجد بشكل طبيعي حول مزرعته، فقرر إحضار كلب لمساعدته في طرد الخنازير رد فعل الكلب مع أول مطاردة:

这个 芬兰饶舌歌手的MV 在英推已经传疯了，估计还有很多人没有看过。一镜到底，没有任何技术，但整个MV就是一个编舞和审美与执行的炫技。 我太喜欢了！特别是那些 AI 东西看多了，审美疲劳，看见这种人类的创意加执行出来的精品，那种张力就忽然让我意识到，很多事情机器真的替代不了。

Words fail me. Has seat reservation for train X. Decides instead to take train Y. Complains there is no seat. Takes to twitter to criticise railway company for not predicting her movements.

The Iranian navy, which has been destroyed eight times, closed the Strait of Hormuz again, because the United States for the seventh time won the war that wasn’t a war, so the United States can open the Strait of Hormuz that was open before the not war. The not war that started to get the uranium that was completely obliterated, so that the Iranians can’t build the nuclear bomb that they weren’t building for the not war that the United States started. Then the United States which has nuclear weapons threatening to use nuclear weapons to prevent Iran from having nuclear weapons because having nuclear weapons is dangerous. If the United States saw what the United States is doing in the United States, the United States would invade the United States to liberate the United States from the tyranny of the United States.

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The Prophetﷺ said: "Whoever wakes up at night and says: La ilaha illallahu wahdahu la sharika lah, lahu al-mulku wa lahu al-hamdu, wa huwa 'ala kulli shay'in qadir. Al-hamdu lillah, wa subhanallah, wa la ilaha illallah, wallahu akbar, wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. And then says: Allahumma'ghfir li They are promised a response from Allah (du'a will be answered)".

725TB bro zipped All The World's Evil in there

I no con sabi if na English abi pidgin 😭

Uber driver arrived but there was a mixup so it took me like 10 mins to go down. When I got to the parking lot, I met him behind the wheel reading something that looked like a university handout material. I was curious because I hadn’t seen something like that in a while.