Erin Rock

"Lemon, I'm sure you're aware of the Great-American-State-Fair's unfortunate cancellations. Nevertheless we still have Vanilla Ice, Milli, and the state of Florida" *Tracy walks in with blue skin* "LIZ LEMON, I FELL ASLEEP IN THE LINCOLN REFLECTING POOL AND THEY PAINTED OVER ME"

Me when anyone asks why I still use Twitter

Haters mad

An American who worked in Rome was the only one in his department with a window AC unit. His boss would speak to him through his cracked office door because Italians believed AC harmed the liver.

This is probably the best way to put a real dent in your neighborhood mosquitoes without poisoning everything. x.com/giveashitnatur…

got a taumoeba (depression) leak and it’s eating all the astrophage (dopamine) in my fuel tanks (brain)

"He's a menace ... I WANT SPIDER-MAN!" J.K. Simmons is at the Mets game tonight and ran into a familiar face 😂

There are only three articles on the copyright notices sent by Paramount — and they all come from trade publications owned by the same company. They all use the word "suppress" Curious how they all came to use that same word — where did they get it from? I wonder. No one reached out to any of us affected by the DMCAs before the apologist Paramount and CBS columns were published — and apparently no pushback from those journalists, either. One columnist literally wrote something to the effect of, was Colbert really dismissed because his show was too expensive? "I mean, you decide." Well, you decide if CBS really was trying to suppress the video or not. Some at Deadline, Variety and the Hollywood Reporter will try to convince you that they are, and are willing to accept the line that CBS / Paramount put out as gospel. Will you?

hate when somebody pulls up to a stop sign before me and waves me through. who the fuck do you think you are? you don’t get to decide. those aren’t the rules. fuck you

Tonight during the final segment of CBS Evening News, our cameraman on set suffered a medical emergency. Thankfully, he’s okay and recovering.

“Back breakers” tinyview.com/the-other-end/…

Right wingers keep saying this isn’t funny because they know how accurate it is

Oh this is going to piss him off in ways we’ve never seen.

To figure out why Cole Allen did what he did, I obtained a copy of his resume and talked to his former friends. The portrait that emerges is unlike what the White House is saying: kenklippenstein.com/p/assassin-was…

You planted this bamboo yourself. With enthusiasm. For a screen. Within two years you regretted it — and within five you understood you could not go back. Running bamboo (Phyllostachys and related genera) is one of the most frequently self-inflicted garden disasters in Britain. The gardener plants it voluntarily, pays for it, and then pays considerably more to try to remove it. What the garden centre tells you: fast-growing, evergreen, architectural, forms a screen in two seasons. All true. What the garden centre does not tell you The rhizomes of running bamboo (Phyllostachys, Pseudosasa, Sasa, Pleioblastus) spread laterally through the soil at one to two metres per year. They do not grow downward like normal roots — they run horizontally at 15-30cm depth, in every direction, under the lawn, under the border, under the patio, under the neighbour's fence. Every rhizome node produces a new culm that emerges without warning — in the middle of the lawn, between paving stones, through a neighbour's garden. In three to five years, a bamboo planted as a three-metre screen has rhizomes occupying 50-80 square metres — the entire garden. In ten years they reach neighbouring gardens, irrigation pipes, house foundations, and drainage systems. Cutting the canes does nothing Bamboo cut to the ground regrows with more vigour than the year before. Every cut stimulates the rhizomes to produce emergency culms. Cutting weekly for an entire season does not weaken the root system — it causes it to expand faster in search of undisturbed ground. Digging it out is a serious undertaking Phyllostachys rhizomes are as hard as beech wood, interlaced in an underground network extending in every direction. Hand digging requires days of work per square metre. Mechanical excavation must reach 50-60cm depth across the entire colonised area — and every rhizome fragment left in the soil starts again. A single forgotten node restarts the problem from zero. The root barrier The only reliable way to contain running bamboo is a root barrier — a sheet of HDPE (high-density polyethylene) at least 1.5mm thick, installed at minimum 60cm depth, surrounding the entire planting area before the bamboo goes in. The barrier must be continuous with no joins or weak points. It costs more than the bamboo itself. If it was not installed at planting time — which covers the vast majority of cases — it cannot be retrofitted without excavating everything. The distinction nobody explains at the garden centre Running bamboo (Phyllostachys, Pseudosasa, Sasa): rhizomes that travel metres from the original plant. INVASIVE. Never plant without a root barrier. Clump-forming bamboo (Fargesia, Borinda): rhizomes that grow as a compact clump without running. NOT INVASIVE. Fargesia is the correct choice for a British garden screen — it forms a dense hedge, stays where it is planted, and will not colonise neighbouring gardens. Eradication protocol For running bamboo already established, the method with the highest documented success rate is: Year 1: cut all canes to ground level in June — when the plant has spent its stored energy on new growth and rhizome reserves are at their lowest. Cover the entire colonised area with thick black weed-suppressing membrane, edges weighted or buried. Leave covered for the full season. Year 2: remove covering in spring. Cut every shoot that emerges immediately. Re-cover. Repeat through the season. Years 3-4: monitor weekly. Cut every shoot within 24 hours of emergence — a bamboo shoot left for a week is already a metre tall and has re-stocked the rhizomes. Consistency is everything. Alternative: systemic herbicide (glyphosate) injected into hollow cut stems immediately after cutting in late summer. The same protocol used for Japanese knotweed — to which this problem is closely comparable in persistence and difficulty. The most architectural screen in the street is also the most expensive to remove. Consider it before planting, not after.

Reporters working at dinner after incident

My man

“When you can buy your way out of any mistake, when you can fire anyone who disagrees with you, when your social circle consists entirely of people who need something from you, the basic mechanism by which humans learn that other people are real goes dark” theatlantic.com/magazine/2026/…

Wait, what

@esjesjesj Yeah. Back from the moon.

Woke is so back