Anastasia FTW

white people be like i have to pick up my dog’s Invisalign

@mqdwheeler @land_of_weird I've maybe also heard "simular" on the History channel as well I think in a couple of programs, I don't quite remember. I just thought it was odd when I heard it irl. Some people speak differently, I've met a lot of people from a lot of places.

@beastacabra @land_of_weird Thats so interesting bc theres a podcaster i listen to who does both of those but she’s british

People using "whenever" when they mean "when" and pronouncing "women" as "woman" are my top 2 english pet peeves rn because theyre just fucking WRONG WHY DO I SEE THIS SO MUCH?!?

@JonKatz79 Every day, I think most of them are fantastic!

Ever think about how we're only alive because of all the plants?

@Teatank01 What a fully immersive experience!

Why do farts stink? So the deaf can enjoy them too.

@TheGingerRoot96 @fuller_sean @rushicrypto If your comment was directed at me I'm not surprised, I've been homeless twice and asking either one of my parents for help wasn't an option either time.

@beastacabra @fuller_sean @rushicrypto A lot of people are living out of their cars and in hotels. A lot. You’d be surprised. Especially given today’s car prices plus insurance, it’s basically ‘home on wheels’ for many.

Here is the real question I want to ask. If gas prices keep rising.... What do we expect people who make minimum wage to do? Not "how are they going to pay for gas" but more "would you show up for a job where one hour of work can buy you less than one gallon of gas?"

@JormJohn @land_of_weird grammarride.com/is-it-correct-…

@beastacabra @land_of_weird it happens so much because its correct in many dialects of english

@keith_saunders I've been thinking about routine nonstop ALL DAY on this day. Maybe it's a sign of good things to come.

Idea for a horror film: The Poutening

@Teatank01 I'm actually a little bit sure that I have a pic on here from like 2015 with a Legendary coke can 🤣🤣

@beastacabra 🤣🤣🤣

What do you call the most famous cow of all time? Legendairy.

Currently edging victory 🤙

@Paws00780531 @ronnui_ Just wait until you hear the sax solo in "Super Integral Extraterrestrial Bean." 🥲🎷🎶

@beastacabra @ronnui_ Absolutely unhinged 🤣

I feel embarrassed for people who need protein popcorn/soda/whatever to hit their protein goals. Like wait you're not beanmaxxing? Lmao brother. You're not Riding The Bean Horse? You child. Come to me when you have seen the face of Bean and have become Bean.

@Camel_Crushin What is this, the Waffle House?

Fruit doesn’t belong in or on waffles, pancakes, or french toast. It belongs on the side. Fucking fight me.

@BeenChristelle @masha_slp You're right 🤜 this about EFFORT, obviously 🙄😂

@beastacabra @masha_slp I think you not trying hard enough Anastasia

I’ll just stop wearing glasses and force my eyes to become strong by themselves

I can't believe I have the privilege of existing simultaneously with the lovely tones of Bodysnatcher 🥲 Truly a bleghsing 🙏

@RYGdance When I was really young I would press my hand on my bedroom window to determine how I should dress for the day. At some point it was always a hoodie and long pants but it was my way of being aware, I guess.

At what age do they comprehend that the temperature inside is different than the temperature outside? Because it’s not 10 or 12

@aallleeexxxxxx1 Maybe you need a nap 🤷‍♀️ I've always thought it would be sick to sleep on a floating bed. I think that's the answer.

i don’t know what happened to me, i used to be driven and put together. now i am kind of just a weirdo freak

@Verayea 800-588-2300 Empire! (Today!) I've never once made a phone call to make an appointment to have a carpet professionally cleaned.

What is the most useless piece of information you have memorized?

@manofletterz People choose to scrutinize at strange times. It's also learned behavior, in whatever capacity. Any interaction is a means to seek some sort of something which would be more ok if people had a better idea of what they were looking for.

@beastacabra That's because we didn't have an internet to run to and learn symptoms from every disease and start to think that we had an all

When I was a kid we didn't self diagnose we self-medicated

@jeanisalunatic After that I learned to keep an extra plastic card in my pocket in case of emergencies... yay, lessons and growth! 🌳✨️

@beastacabra The part where it stopped working literally made my face do this ☹️

Resting can’t be arsed with the laundry face.

@HeavyMetalYetii @RB_RockBottom Have you ever been stuck working behind a bar subject to pop-country for hours on end? It's a special kind of heck, for sure 😞

@RB_RockBottom Spoiler alert: it's probably country

As musical ability is a spectrum, there is one band out there that is exactly the worst band ever.