calcouch

@RealDeanCain He's out of his element.

🤣🤣

@mymomcare @3YearLetterman did the bear damage your timeshare?

Something you don’t see every day. A black bear locked in a hotel room in Gatlinburg, Tennessee 😳

@pmarca It's Not that amazing. I didn't see an African v. European Swallow comparison viz

It's time to learn!

@Farris_TN What is the GoFundMe link?

On behalf of all other Tennessean's... We fully endorse Memphis seceding from Tennessee... Y'all can be Mississippi and Arkansas's problem😂😂

@jay_kobbe “We think it’s very safe to be in Chinatown and hope that others will come. ... Please come and visit and enjoy Chinatown.” -Pelosi 2/24/2020

We should nuke Jersey and New York just to be safe The whole north east tbh

@lambo_raby10 Prophylactic-simping pre-9/26/26

This is awesome but from the Texas Baseball account. Odd

@SullenSerf New meaning to the Transfer "Portal"

We now know where Diego Pavia came from

@ishapiro Who lives in the crook of the lobster's right elbow? That's an 'and especially these guys' artifact. It must be to particularly densely populated with likely voters. Is this D load balancing or R dispersion?

It turns out the Dems were too shellfish.

Iron Eyes Cody was a Sicilian from Kaplan, La. Fun fact

But they want us to forget. The beauty of family at its best.

My daughter is 18 and going away to college this fall. She wrote a college application essay about a day on the lake in such vivid detail it has to be perfect recall from 8 or 9 years ago. The impact to her life was meaningful. I drove the boat, I was there - but I wasn't. I worried about work. I carried over a disagreement with my wife, I was irritated that we couldn't just chill in a cove. I wasn't fully present. I did not know that I was wasting something of incalculable worth. I remember 'days on the lake.' What she described... I can't remember. I wish I could remember that day -no, every day - from those years as she does. With the notable exceptions of these two, parents never know what shapes a young life, never know on the day that that day is perfect.

@JTLonsdale @TheBabylonBee I wish it were satire

@TheBabylonBee 🇺🇸

We Asked AI To Show America Without Republicans

@EthansAnalyst Rejected. AI slop. No analyst of @EthansAnalyst caliber would use a rounder sans serif.

Woke up at 5:45am Texted Boss man at 5:47 Couldn’t help it Christmas morning energy Five year old Couldn’t wait All packed Boarding pass on the home screen Big weekend ahead Even bigger day for Boss man Couples therapy at 4 with Aunt B Utilized the early wake up Jump started the notes and minutes Shareholder Meeting Volume 2 Initial task Organize Boss man’s hate mail He ran out of wall space I offered to help Had to read them all In order to categorize That’s just the process Then something shifted They are not rooting for Boss man They are rooting for me Me The analyst Full transparency Did not anticipate this outcome 7 categories 1 quote each Time restraint I have walls Currently empty Not for long My release strategy No cap Overworked Legend 📈 “Sleepwalked into the corner office.Still showed up twitching. He’s not an employee. He’s a hostage” Health & Self-Care 📈 “Eye twitch started Q4 Moved to his face by March The fish in that lobby are living better” Raise & Promotion 📈 “Three years. No name recognition. No title bump Bio still says Future Senior Analyst Sir” Wedding / Family Time Off 📈 “One Friday off for his sister’s wedding. Declared technically optional. Reassigned to gridline removal and PowerPoint. I can’t” Formatting & Gridline Hero 📈 “Plz fix. No file attached Saturday. Rebuilt the entire deck by Monday. Gridlines removed. Obviously” Loyalty & Dedication 📈 “The entire replies section is steal the analyst. Aunt B is staring at the ceiling. Shareholders and spouses agree” Character 📈 “Ranked a little bit. Showed up the next day. Fresh notepad. Ready to deliver” Resilience 📈 “Given hate mail to organize. Read every single one. Kept sorting. Never flinched. That’s not an analyst. That’s a professional” Self Awareness 📈 “Boss said people are rooting for the analyst now. Analyst heard it. Nodded. Went back to the gridlines. I’m not okay” Boss man has the corner office I have a small office He filled his walls with hate mail Mine will be different The shareholders have spoken The people have spoken Senior Analyst has a nice ring to it Continuing analysis Sent from my Mac

@alt_w_v_g Weekly Action Plan addition: Procure additional analyst, Rom-Com script experience. First consult free, next is $250 USD

Couples therapy Session 3 Cargo shorts Third pair Five pockets loaded One left open Pocket one: talking points Pocket two: counter-talking points Pocket three: my wife's original list from session one with my analyst's correctly formatted version stapled on top Pocket four: granola bar Pocket five: a printed summary of the therapist's Yelp reviews in case I needed leverage Pocket six: empty My analyst said to always leave one pocket open for something you didn't see coming Last session I learned we were having another child Pulled into the parking lot at 3:48pm My analyst was already there Same spot Engine off Legal pad on the dash Three iced coffees in the car Two were empty He rolled the window down I said "how long have you been here" He said "I got here at 5am boss man" I said "the session is at 4pm" He said "I know. I wanted to study the environment." I said "it's a parking lot" He said "every parking lot tells a story" I didn't ask what story this one told He handed me a folder through the window I said "she said no folders" He said "it's not a folder. It's a pocket insert. Fits right in pocket six." I opened it One page Header: "Things Boss Man Has Done Right (Partial List)" There were only four items I won't say what they were But number three was "hired me" Another subtle push for a promotion that I ignored I closed the folder I said "I'm not bringing this in" He said "I know. But I wanted you to read it." I put it in the glove box I didn't put it in pocket six But I thought about it Walked across the parking lot alone First session without backup My wife was already inside Left couch Same spot Stanley cup She looked different Not upset Not armed with Karen from HR or the teacher from the parent teacher conference Just there alone The therapist said "no analyst today?" I said "he's in the parking lot" The therapist said "why" I said "my wife said if he steps foot in the building she's calling her attorney" The therapist looked at my wife My wife said "that's accurate" The therapist said "and yet he's still in the parking lot" I said "he's committed. I respect it." The therapist made a note I don't know what she wrote but her pen moved for a while She said "your wife has set today's agenda" I said "I know. One item." She said "have you read it?" I said "no" She said "why not?" I said "I was advised to come in without a position. Let the other side present first. Then respond." The therapist said "who advised you to do that" I said "my analyst" My wife closed her eyes The therapist slid the paper across the table I picked it up Six words "Tell me something that isn't transactional" I looked at my wife She was looking at me Not the ceiling At me The therapist said "take your time" I didn't need time I said "you're the best decision I ever made" My wife said "that's a decision. Decisions are transactions." I said "I'd pick you again. Every time. No hesitation." She said "that's a selection process" I said "losing you would cost me everything" She said "that's a cost" The therapist said "she's asking you to speak without a framework" I said "I don't know how to do that" My wife said "try" The room was quiet I could hear the clock on the wall First time I've ever noticed it Mentally counting the therapist's cost per second I reached into pocket one Pulled out the talking points Put them on the table Reached into pocket two Counter-talking points On the table Pocket three Reformatted list On the table Pocket five Unfavorable Yelp reviews On the table My wife watched me empty every pocket The therapist watched I kept the granola bar I'm not wasteful The table had four documents on it None of them mattered right now I sat back Empty pockets First time I've walked into a room with nothing prepared My phone buzzed I looked at it Text from the analyst: "You've been quiet for four minutes boss man. That's a record." I put the phone face down I said "last night I laid out my cargo shorts" The therapist said "okay" I said "I have seven pairs. They're all identical." My wife said "I know. Your analyst ordered them." I said "I picked the third pair" The therapist said "why the third" I said "because the last time I wore them you told me we were having a baby. And you smiled. In this room. For the first time." Nobody said anything I said "I stood in the closet looking at seven identical pairs and picked the only one that reminded me of you smiling" I said "that's not a transaction" My wife didn't say anything She didn't look at the ceiling She looked at me Her eyes were wet The therapist's eyes were wet My eyes were not wet But the room was blurry again Must be the ventilation The therapist said "that's the first thing you've said today that wasn't a framework" I said "it felt inefficient" She said "how so" I said "because I could have just said I love you" The room went very quiet My wife said "say it again" I said "the cargo shorts thing or the other part" She said "the other part" I said "I love you" She said "again" I said "I love you" The therapist took her glasses off Third time in three sessions I'm tracking it My wife said "do you know that's the first time you've ever said that without qualifying it" I thought about it She was right Every other time I'd followed it with something "I love you and I think we should refinance" "I love you but the numbers on this kitchen remodel don't work" "I love you. Also the home warranty expires in eleven days." This time I just said it No addendum No follow-up action item Just the words My phone buzzed I didn't look at it It buzzed again And again And again Four buzzes I left it face down The therapist said "how does it feel to say that without adding anything" I said "uncomfortable" She said "why" I said "because it's not actionable. There's no next step. It just sits there." She said "sometimes that's the point" I made a note of that Mental note Not on paper I didn't have paper I emptied my pockets My wife reached across the couch She took my hand Third time that's happened I'm tracking that too We sat like that for a while Nobody said anything The clock was still ticking I was still aware of it But I wasn't counting the minutes That was new The therapist said "I want to ask about the baby" My wife looked at me I looked at her The therapist said "have you two talked about it since the last session" My wife said "he updated a spreadsheet" The therapist looked at me I said "it's a household P&L. The baby needed a line item. I used conservative assumptions." The therapist said "what assumptions" I said "daycare at the 75th percentile. Diapers at 3% annual inflation. College at 5%. I ran a Monte Carlo simulation on the total cost to raise a child to eighteen." The therapist said "and what did the model say" I said "$387,000 in present value terms" My wife pulled her hand back I said "I wasn't finished" She looked at me I said "I also modeled what it would be worth" The therapist said "what do you mean" I said "I tried to assign a value to what we'd gain. Another person at the table. More noise. More mess. More everything." I paused I said "the model broke" The therapist said "broke how" I said "because I couldn't quantify it. Every input I used was a number. And the output kept coming back as something that wasn't." The room was quiet My wife put her hand back I said "I don't know how to say I'm excited without attaching a dollar sign to it. But I closed the spreadsheet last night. First time I've ever closed a spreadsheet without saving." My wife looked at me I looked at her The therapist was writing something She wrote for a long time Then she stopped She said "I think we should keep meeting" I said "same rate?" My wife looked at the ceiling Some things change Some things don't The therapist said "same rate" I said "I won't negotiate this time" My wife looked at me She smiled Second time in this office I said "but I do want to discuss frequency. Weekly feels aggressive. Biweekly gives us time to implement the takeaways." The therapist said "I think weekly" My wife said "I think weekly" I said "I'm outvoted" The therapist said "this isn't a vote" I said "everything is a vote" My wife said "not this" I looked at her She was right Not everything is a vote Some things are just decided I nodded Weekly The therapist said "I'd like to meet the analyst at some point" My wife said "absolutely not" The therapist said "not in session. Separately. I'm professionally curious." My wife said "he doesn't need therapy. He needs a raise and a day off." I said "he got a day off. He came in anyway." The therapist made another note We stood up I left the documents on the table All four of them First time I've ever left a room without collecting my materials Walked out Checked my phone in the hallway Fourteen texts from my analyst First one at 4:02pm: "Status update when you can boss man" Fourth one at 4:11pm: "Both cars still in the lot. Positive indicator." Seventh one at 4:19pm: "You've had your phone face down for six minutes. New personal best." Tenth one at 4:28pm: "I can see through the window. She's holding your hand." Twelfth one at 4:34pm: "I don't have the right word for what I'm feeling right now." Fourteenth one at 4:41pm: "Proud of you boss man. Also the parking lot cop wants me to move. He said I have been here all day. He's calling someone." I walked to his car He had the window down Legal pad full I said "how many pages" He said "six" I said "the session was one hour" He said "there was a lot to capture boss man" I looked at the last page Bottom line "Cargo shorts: 2 for 2" Circled twice Underlined I said "you can see through the window?" He said "only from the third row" I said "you moved your car for line of sight" He said "I moved it twice. The first angle had a glare." I looked at him He looked at me I said "next session. You're coming inside." He said "I thought she said" I said "I'll handle it" He didn't say anything But he closed his legal pad First time he's ever done that mid-conversation I think that meant something to him I got in my car My wife was already in the passenger seat She didn't say anything I didn't say anything I put my hand on hers Third time now She looked at me Not the ceiling She said "you emptied your pockets" I said "I kept the granola bar" She laughed Second session in a row she's laughed I drove home Same cargo shorts Same couch Same $250 Didn't negotiate Didn't need the talking points Didn't read the Yelp reviews Pocket six is still empty I think I'm going to keep it that way Plz don't fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

This is one of the most jaw-dropping, chilling interviews I have seen. Watch this Rabbi from London, respond to question about the terror stabbing in Golders Green!

@ScottJenningsKY @navychick1993 Gerrymandering for me and not for thee - @BarackObama 4/29/26

Must be exhausting to be for gerrymandering one week and against it the next.

@nomodeath Noted.

I need a nonchalant response to “I hate you”

Because we get asked a lot. The Technological Republic, in brief. 1. Silicon Valley owes a moral debt to the country that made its rise possible. The engineering elite of Silicon Valley has an affirmative obligation to participate in the defense of the nation. 2. We must rebel against the tyranny of the apps. Is the iPhone our greatest creative if not crowning achievement as a civilization? The object has changed our lives, but it may also now be limiting and constraining our sense of the possible. 3. Free email is not enough. The decadence of a culture or civilization, and indeed its ruling class, will be forgiven only if that culture is capable of delivering economic growth and security for the public. 4. The limits of soft power, of soaring rhetoric alone, have been exposed. The ability of free and democratic societies to prevail requires something more than moral appeal. It requires hard power, and hard power in this century will be built on software. 5. The question is not whether A.I. weapons will be built; it is who will build them and for what purpose. Our adversaries will not pause to indulge in theatrical debates about the merits of developing technologies with critical military and national security applications. They will proceed. 6. National service should be a universal duty. We should, as a society, seriously consider moving away from an all-volunteer force and only fight the next war if everyone shares in the risk and the cost. 7. If a U.S. Marine asks for a better rifle, we should build it; and the same goes for software. We should as a country be capable of continuing a debate about the appropriateness of military action abroad while remaining unflinching in our commitment to those we have asked to step into harm’s way. 8. Public servants need not be our priests. Any business that compensated its employees in the way that the federal government compensates public servants would struggle to survive. 9. We should show far more grace towards those who have subjected themselves to public life. The eradication of any space for forgiveness—a jettisoning of any tolerance for the complexities and contradictions of the human psyche—may leave us with a cast of characters at the helm we will grow to regret. 10. The psychologization of modern politics is leading us astray. Those who look to the political arena to nourish their soul and sense of self, who rely too heavily on their internal life finding expression in people they may never meet, will be left disappointed. 11. Our society has grown too eager to hasten, and is often gleeful at, the demise of its enemies. The vanquishing of an opponent is a moment to pause, not rejoice. 12. The atomic age is ending. One age of deterrence, the atomic age, is ending, and a new era of deterrence built on A.I. is set to begin. 13. No other country in the history of the world has advanced progressive values more than this one. The United States is far from perfect. But it is easy to forget how much more opportunity exists in this country for those who are not hereditary elites than in any other nation on the planet. 14. American power has made possible an extraordinarily long peace. Too many have forgotten or perhaps take for granted that nearly a century of some version of peace has prevailed in the world without a great power military conflict. At least three generations — billions of people and their children and now grandchildren — have never known a world war. 15. The postwar neutering of Germany and Japan must be undone. The defanging of Germany was an overcorrection for which Europe is now paying a heavy price. A similar and highly theatrical commitment to Japanese pacifism will, if maintained, also threaten to shift the balance of power in Asia. 16. We should applaud those who attempt to build where the market has failed to act. The culture almost snickers at Musk’s interest in grand narrative, as if billionaires ought to simply stay in their lane of enriching themselves . . . . Any curiosity or genuine interest in the value of what he has created is essentially dismissed, or perhaps lurks from beneath a thinly veiled scorn. 17. Silicon Valley must play a role in addressing violent crime. Many politicians across the United States have essentially shrugged when it comes to violent crime, abandoning any serious efforts to address the problem or take on any risk with their constituencies or donors in coming up with solutions and experiments in what should be a desperate bid to save lives. 18. The ruthless exposure of the private lives of public figures drives far too much talent away from government service. The public arena—and the shallow and petty assaults against those who dare to do something other than enrich themselves—has become so unforgiving that the republic is left with a significant roster of ineffectual, empty vessels whose ambition one would forgive if there were any genuine belief structure lurking within. 19. The caution in public life that we unwittingly encourage is corrosive. Those who say nothing wrong often say nothing much at all. 20. The pervasive intolerance of religious belief in certain circles must be resisted. The elite’s intolerance of religious belief is perhaps one of the most telling signs that its political project constitutes a less open intellectual movement than many within it would claim. 21. Some cultures have produced vital advances; others remain dysfunctional and regressive. All cultures are now equal. Criticism and value judgments are forbidden. Yet this new dogma glosses over the fact that certain cultures and indeed subcultures . . . have produced wonders. Others have proven middling, and worse, regressive and harmful. 22. We must resist the shallow temptation of a vacant and hollow pluralism. We, in America and more broadly the West, have for the past half century resisted defining national cultures in the name of inclusivity. But inclusion into what? Excerpts from the #1 New York Times Bestseller The Technological Republic: Hard Power, Soft Belief, and the Future of the West, by Alexander C. Karp & Nicholas W. Zamiska techrepublicbook.com

@FOXNashville What are we Communists? Of course they shouldn't

POLL: Do you think people moving to Tennessee should align with the state’s dominant political views?

@Rightanglenews @grok is this true? If true what angles for legal challenges are probable? What clauses in the constitution may be being violated with this VA law?

BREAKING - Outrage is erupting across Virginia after Abigail Spanberger signed HB965 into law, effectively rendering Virginians’ presidential votes null and void, with the measure handing the states electoral votes to the national popular vote winner regardless of states results.