Marinersburner

Hangover cure: -Coke Zero -hit the gym for 40 minutes -meet up with your boys and get breakfast sandwiches -90-minute nap on their couch -wake up to one of them playing Sly Cooper on PlayStation 2 -have a randomly deep conversation about how the first 15 years of your life took forever but every year since has gone by scary fast -order Chinese food -watch an hour of Wedding Crashers -go to the girl you’re hooking up with’s place and ask her to be your girlfriend (she says yes then you smash) -smoke a joint on your way home listening to How To Save A Life by The Fray -realize you’re living a phase of your life you already know you’re gonna wanna re-live (this makes you 10% sad 90% wildly grateful to be alive)

Heading to the bar again with a hangover because my friend said "dw i remember my first beer" in the gc

@JoeyMoore87 @MarineLayerPod Country boy

@MarineLayerPod Why send him to Arkansas?

Mariners GM Justin Hollander provides injury updates on a number of different players⬇️ Matt Brash - TBD on IL stint after MRI on his lat Brendan Donovan - Starting rehab assignment next week in Arkansas Victor Robles - Starting a rehab assignment on Sunday

This better be on #ICEMAN 🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 He needs to do exactly that rap on everybody shit

I know Gee is not a conservative (although I like listening to him) But if I’m going to be real with you, his level of frustration here is exactly what it’s like being a Republican in Olympia every single day. And increasingly, even non-conservatives feel this way.

Oh okay

“We've stopped making babies. We've decided that being distracted by a dopamine hit around Candy Crush might be a good way to spend your time. Not if you're a full human," former Sen. Ben Sasse says in an extended interview. cbsn.ws/4cA1Jrp

@GovTimWalz Great job Tim. Right on time

If you commit fraud in Minnesota you’re going to get caught — and that’s exactly what we saw today. We catch criminals when state and federal agencies share information. Joint investigations work, and securing justice depends on it.

Single guys need to be joy maxxing. Hanging with friends. Grilling. Lifting weights. Eating steaks. Enjoying a hobby. Grabbing beers. Hitting on girls. Getting rejected (the right one won’t). Laughing about it. Wood working. Side hustling. Reading. Learning niche facts. Locking in. Working hard. Just fully living and enjoying their lives. It’s very attractive when you love your life. It’s very attractive when your life is full. Law of attraction baby. You attract what you are.

Advice for @CDCgov: If any ingredient sounds like a football snap count, it shouldn’t be in food “Green18888” “Blue 42” “Red 40, Red 40”

This is a goddamn honor to have. Do not forget the Seahawks

Acquired a shelf for the balcony, excited to enjoy multiple beers on it

@NYCMayor Rich people will move and more poor people will move in.

Happy Tax Day, New York. We’re taxing the rich.

i have a friend that gets airport beers after his flights

Back down to earth now, people of Coachella

They want to take your brain.

Imagine having to pee at Coachella

@FoxNews @grok did he actually tweet this

🚨 BREAKING: Trump warns 'whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again' if Iran doesn't agree to deal to end war

@_my_0_my_ @NotTyFrance What are we doing!

@NotTyFrance Amazing. Frankly, insane that it hasn’t happened.

I can’t wait for Colt Emerson to come up, bump Donovan to LF, and bump Randy to DH