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So I had this idea...
What if the male/female instinctual dynamic is similar to the vanguard (front line) and rear-guard in warfare?
Perhaps female core instincts are simply geared towards operating in a rear-guard capacity. Her mating instinct desires a strong "vanguard," to act as "tip of the spear" in the genetic battle against the world, but her social instinct seeks to preserve safe zones (tribal group, extended family connections, etc) as "fall-back points" for herself and her offspring in the event the "vanguard" is killed (which was a common problem for most of history).
This would explain the desire for the "safety net" qualities and the simultaneous aversion to having those qualities in a mate: They are mutually exclusive from a combat standpoint. Your "front line" can't also be your "safety net."
For males, it also explains why their social instinct is to "hang with the boys" (other front-line fighters), while expecting females to "mind the hearth" (the "fall back point" for the males).
Emergent Perspective@_emergent_
It's like this girl watched an @ItIsHoeMath episode, and decided she could cheat on her homework and make the "Hoe Math" add up.
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