Paul Taylor

@carnabychick Do you know the track title please? It's a banger

#Eurovisión2026 I love Parov Stelar

@matt90fyljl @2000Jcc1 @barnesy_uk @almurray It's pretty self explanatory really isn't it

@2000Jcc1 @barnesy_uk @almurray Probably the noncing.

This is magnificent

@Htaylor4476 @NoContextBrits Dick Rock

@NoContextBrits @paulieteee

How do you pronounce this?

@I_amMukhtar Caught straddling the line of the road 600 yards before the merge point

Scott Mills has been sacked from the BBC following allegations about his personal conduct. He was dismissed suddenly, so I assume it must be something serious.

@nick_pope @jdmlon @DanNeidle @samuel_leeds Standard behaviour haha

@paulieteee @jdmlon @DanNeidle @samuel_leeds He moved to Dubai.

Property "gurus" know nothing about tax, and mislead their followers. Here's Samuel Leeds, saying your UK property income isn't taxed if you move to Monaco. Nope. The UK has always taxed non-residents on UK property rental income. Since 2015, non-residents pay CGT too. There is literally zero tax saving.

@snb19692 @Iromg This country was built on the backs of the labourers who harvested our native concrete trees! How dare you mock!

@Iromg Yea Mike...keep growing the concrete! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣f*cking clown!

Fucking idiot 😂😂😂😂

@supertanskiii @Channel4 please we're begging make this an episode of 24 hours in police custody

@SamuelVimes10 @basileboli2 @TheSimonEvans @almurray It's a great book, can recommend

@basileboli2 @TheSimonEvans @almurray Nice- Carr is a craftsman I think, rather than a natural, so I imagine has insight

Can anyone recommend a good book about jokes? Not a "joke book", but something that dissects, describes the mechanics, has a typology etc? I bought one based on Googling and it's very basic. I want something called COMEDY MANUAL by a serious writer @TheSimonEvans @almurray

@KTHopkins @Number10cat How are you getting in to Number 10? Have they started doing tours for the public now?

Dear @Number10cat Count your days you fluffy rodent. When I get into that place I am bringing my dog, Cunty McCat-Killer. The taxidermist wont even be able to make a muff cover out of what is left of you.

@forster_k Oh Reform. We're all laughing at you now. You've become the very thing you hated.

BREAKING: Suella Braverman defects to Reform: “I feel like I’ve come home”

@policylaila This is a wind up, surely? This can't be real?!

Choose a new path for London. Before it’s too late. 🇬🇧

@JamesGAyling @fesshole God help you if you misread any signals

@fesshole “Model railway convention” is code for swingers retreat, right?

18. GF agreed to stay over when my parents went to a model railway convention. Pizza. Intermission. Breakfast. We'd saved garlic bread and I warmed it. I served her and asked how much condensed milk she wanted on it. That's when I learned most people have it without.

@WillumG @TimSmart3 @RAF_Luton Asking the key questions here, thankyou

@TimSmart3 @RAF_Luton If they're Grenadier Guards then where are the grenades they're suppose to be guarding?

Fact of the Day: General Major Bonespurs meets members of the Household Cavalry who explain what a Front Line looks like to him as part of Operation Tangerine Micro-Mushroom and the 457 reasons why he needs to apologise Photographed from a Canberra

@Auburn_Uppercut @Dembeforetrump @TheDemocrats If one person can not be subdued using non lethal methods by multiple "officers" then they have no right working in a law enforcement role.

ICE agents shot and killed another person in Minneapolis this morning. Get ICE out of Minnesota NOW.

@SenorToasty @TimRunsHisMouth @TheDemocrats If you're not a Republican then yes apparently

@TimRunsHisMouth @TheDemocrats He didn’t have it drawn, now it’s illegal to own a gun?

@Deckard2069 @Wuffbutt1 @warthog101 @RAF_Luton No sweat? Found Andrew Windsor's twitter account!

@Wuffbutt1 @warthog101 @RAF_Luton Super army soldiers? I’d take em no sweat

BREAKING: RAF A380 full of SAS (Super Army Soldiers) arrives at Birmingham International Airport to help local authorities evacuate 717.5 locals after 8.0085mm of #snow fell in just 71.75hrs during #stormgorreti Photographed from a Canberra

New haircut and makeover: £900 Six months of Mounjaro: £1500 Social media campaign: £3000 Defection speech left on photocopier: PRICELESS 😅🤣😅😂

@BigJock18 @Protect_Wldlife @DrBrianMay

@paulieteee @Protect_Wldlife @DrBrianMay No

.@DrBrianMay on politicians who support Fox hunting… "Someone who's not bothered about torturing an animal is not bothered about the welfare of people either. Don't vote for them." 🎯 #KeepTheBan #BanTrailHunting #FoxOfTheDay 🦊

@BigJock18 @Protect_Wldlife @DrBrianMay Isn't trail hunting what they tell people they're doing when a fox scent is "accidentally" picked up by the hounds?

@Protect_Wldlife @DrBrianMay Oh look…a 🔔🔚 who doesn’t know the difference between trail hunting and fox hunting.