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Checking out. Keeping this account alive in case this platform ever gets sold to an adult again, but I'll be at the other place if you're looking for me. ✌️
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The Fishpants
25.1K posts
The Fishpants
@thefishpants
𝕺𝖇𝖘𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖊 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖘, 𝕱𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝕵𝖔𝖐𝖊𝖘, 𝕾𝖜𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘*😆🤓🤬 *ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᶜᶜᵃˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ˢᵘʳᵖʳᶦˢᵉ ᵖᵉⁿᶦˢ Join me on Bluesky @thefishpants.bsky.social
Hinterlands of Florida, USA Katılım Mart 2009
3.8K Takip Edilen3.5K Takipçiler
The Fishpants retweetledi
brains in front of zombies on treadmills would provide a source of sustainable energy for the apocalypse but what do i know i’m just a girl.
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The Fishpants retweetledi
The Fishpants retweetledi
The Fishpants retweetledi
The Fishpants retweetledi
RIP David Lynch, I know Heaven has a special place for you. A weird, creepy, dreamlike place with 1950s music playing and at least one prolific character actor. Also there are probably like 85000 people who have been waiting to ask you some questions.
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The Fishpants retweetledi
Whenever Capital One asked “What’s in your wallet?” I was always embarrassed that it was a Burger King coupon and a Trojan condom that both expired in 1998.
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The Fishpants retweetledi
Sometimes I worry about humanity, then I see the “do not pet the dogs” sign in the airport security line and know we’ll be ok.
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@ContestThursday Thanks pandas, I hope you're bringing this to the new place.
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The Fishpants@thefishpants
Welcome to the 1275th annual Evil Wizard's Convention! A few quick announcements: To the owner of a BLUE dragon, you're blocking the golem's entrance, we need you to move it. Necromancers PLEASE keep your undead hordes INSIDE the pentagram, we don't want a repeat of last year.
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The Fishpants retweetledi
🏆 THURSDAY CONTEST 🏆
This week's theme: DRAGONS
LET’S TALK ABOUT DRAGONS AND STUFF.
Give us up to 3 🐉 NEW🐉 tweets (written today) about all things DRAGON!
Open to all size accounts.
Ends 10PM EDT 🥳
GIF
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Welcome to the 1275th annual Evil Wizard's Convention!
A few quick announcements:
To the owner of a BLUE dragon, you're blocking the golem's entrance, we need you to move it.
Necromancers PLEASE keep your undead hordes INSIDE the pentagram, we don't want a repeat of last year.
English
The Fishpants retweetledi
The Fishpants retweetledi
"Peanut Butter as a Coping Mechanism"
My new holistic medicine guide? or
Title of my Autobiography?
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OK at this point I'm pretty sure we've all been dead since at least 2020.
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The Fishpants retweetledi
I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.
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The Fishpants retweetledi
If you're standing right next to me I will not find that thing you asked for. But if you leave it will magically appear.
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The Fishpants retweetledi
Due to budget cuts, we can no longer take you to Funky Town It's now divided into Funky Hamlet and Funky Incorporated Township
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The Fishpants retweetledi
Things that come in threes:
Stooges
Musketeers
Days Grace
Cat puke piles
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The Fishpants retweetledi
me: dating is hard
me on a date: like what if godzilla was an atheist and we just named him that
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