The Fishpants

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The Fishpants

The Fishpants

@thefishpants

𝕺𝖇𝖘𝖈𝖚𝖗𝖊 𝕽𝖊𝖋𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖘, 𝕱𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝕵𝖔𝖐𝖊𝖘, 𝕾𝖜𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘*😆🤓🤬 *ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒᶜᶜᵃˢᶦᵒⁿᵃˡ ˢᵘʳᵖʳᶦˢᵉ ᵖᵉⁿᶦˢ Join me on Bluesky @thefishpants.bsky.social

Hinterlands of Florida, USA Katılım Mart 2009
3.8K Takip Edilen3.5K Takipçiler
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The Fishpants
The Fishpants@thefishpants·
Checking out. Keeping this account alive in case this platform ever gets sold to an adult again, but I'll be at the other place if you're looking for me. ✌️
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.:RiotGrlErin:.
.:RiotGrlErin:.@RiotGrlErin·
brains in front of zombies on treadmills would provide a source of sustainable energy for the apocalypse but what do i know i’m just a girl.
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tera-cotta
tera-cotta@notincharge7·
let's take away the voicemail option we have the technology
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Ok Kate
Ok Kate@Kateness8·
I can cry on command. Just tell me to do something and I’ll cry
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meghan
meghan@deloisivete·
My 7yo keeps referring to the medicine cabinet as 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑟, so now I'm expecting Nancy Drew to show up at any minute to investigate
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Tspot
Tspot@hollarbacktime·
Help is available 24/7. If you’re a vet or loved one of a veteran in crisis, please call.
Tspot tweet media
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The Fishpants
The Fishpants@thefishpants·
RIP David Lynch, I know Heaven has a special place for you. A weird, creepy, dreamlike place with 1950s music playing and at least one prolific character actor. Also there are probably like 85000 people who have been waiting to ask you some questions.
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Rick Aaron
Rick Aaron@RickAaron·
Whenever Capital One asked “What’s in your wallet?” I was always embarrassed that it was a Burger King coupon and a Trojan condom that both expired in 1998.
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Jennifer Killa Dilla
Jennifer Killa Dilla@HauntedJennifer·
Sometimes I worry about humanity, then I see the “do not pet the dogs” sign in the airport security line and know we’ll be ok.
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Trash Pandamonium Contest
Trash Pandamonium Contest@ContestThursday·
🏆 THURSDAY CONTEST 🏆 This week's theme: DRAGONS LET’S TALK ABOUT DRAGONS AND STUFF. Give us up to 3 🐉 NEW🐉 tweets (written today) about all things DRAGON! Open to all size accounts. Ends 10PM EDT 🥳
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The Fishpants
The Fishpants@thefishpants·
Welcome to the 1275th annual Evil Wizard's Convention! A few quick announcements: To the owner of a BLUE dragon, you're blocking the golem's entrance, we need you to move it. Necromancers PLEASE keep your undead hordes INSIDE the pentagram, we don't want a repeat of last year.
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𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓
I was today years old when I found out that the mile high club is not when you eat a Denver omelette in an airplane bathroom.
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The Fishpants
The Fishpants@thefishpants·
OK at this point I'm pretty sure we've all been dead since at least 2020.
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Drew (some assembly required)
I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.
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tera-cotta
tera-cotta@notincharge7·
If you're standing right next to me I will not find that thing you asked for. But if you leave it will magically appear.
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It’s 𝘿𝙖𝙣𝙖, actually
It’s 𝘿𝙖𝙣𝙖, actually@HourLongSauce·
Things that come in threes: Stooges Musketeers Days Grace Cat puke piles
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.:RiotGrlErin:.
.:RiotGrlErin:.@RiotGrlErin·
me: dating is hard me on a date: like what if godzilla was an atheist and we just named him that
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