Joe Dolan

I'm so sick of the tiny lady who lives in my earbuds I KNOW THE BATTERY IS MEDIUM BABE SHUSH IT

@dontattempt Lawful and Awful?

Words nursing their opposites: there (here) friend (fiend) pest (pet) feast (fast) wonderful (woeful) thorough (rough) resign (reign) flight (fight) sunlit (unlit) covert (overt)

Mario telling his mum it's not just a phase:

@scoutboxall It, and you, were perfect 💚

tonight I did an improv show and I walked into a scene and then got named as a thing I didn't know how to do and simply broke down and cried onstage

@spizzter Damnit no! "Calm your tits? more like..."

@spizzter My new catchphrase when I want someone to chill

we all know to slow down because "speed kills", but did you know what else it does?

@ashleycrapap Best newcomer? More like best poo-comer

my shit is an original new emerging artist

some refer to the beginnings of a bowel movement as "turtling", i call it "breaking the fourth wall"

@HarrisonVevo thats bargearse

@LocalGuideMelb @AlboMP 2023 is a real race to the bottom between albo and comfest atm

Coronation preparations in full swing in London this evening at Buckingham Palace.

TBF Cowards was literally only 3 eps but still

@indigo_cola mid 00s british comedy was the "golden" age of cringe so i can't imagine anything of that period holding up tbh

@indigo_cola i loved FM you just unlocked a memory i totally forgot about holy shit

@vigilantonie Vigilantonie could produce a fire album but rando producer couldn't brave the middle aisle

wednesday night, aldi. silent except for man ripping open middle aisle sweatshirts to check sizes. cheese isn't cheap anymore. thinking of the conversation about LA I just had with the producer I set up in the studio. could he tell I've never been? could he shop at aldi?

Absolutely wild to see @micomfestival speedrun losing the respect of every LGBT+ comedian, tech, staff member and audience member by letting transphobic commenters run rampant in their posts here, on FB and on insta. Record breaking stuff.

PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS WHO SPEAK AUSLAN TO COME MY 3PM SHOW ON 23/3!! EVERY TIME I'VE BOOKED AN AUSLAN INTERPRETER, NO DEAF PEOPLE HAVE COME. I HAVE POSTED ON DISABILITY GROUPS, I'VE EMAILED DEAF ORGANISATIONS BUT WORD OF MOUTH IS THE ONLY WAY I RECKON. THANK YOU PALS ❤️❤️❤️

@andyballoch makinh my lil heart SOAR! SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU 💖💖💖

I really love this show please come support smol gay tm

@Glinner Nobody asked you babes

This is pretty satisfying. Young trans activists get a taste of what they've been giving to women for years. Not nice to be surrounded by aggression, is it kids?

@ashleycrapap are flat footed folks eunuchs?

the arch of the foot is the fussy

Ridiculous that in this, the year of our lord, that I am feeling sexy af