Jon Wall

@McLarenF1 Silverstone and Baku

Which race are you most looking forward to this year? 🗓️

@rock_foster @fesshole I'm fairly certain he means the bookie shops not the actual bookie.....

@fesshole And they just sit still and let him?

I allow/actively encourage my dog to wee on bookies when we're on a walk. He's a greyhound so they profited off his pain for so long, they owe him

@fesshole The old brown and mild...

Once drank 12 pints of Mild. Came home and sharted. Threw my soiled undies on the still burning coal fire thinking they would burn to ashes. No such luck, they put the fire out. My mum wasn't too impressed when she cleaned the fireplace next morning.

@fesshole I once missed out on £200 because Thatcher died before Mandela

I work as a manager of a charity shop. Me and the other manager have a sweepstake going on which of the elderly volunteers die first.

@Hogjuice Gutted....

So, on the @LBC “Call the Cabinet” show, @Mark_J_Harper suggested that if the latest offer was put to @ASLEFunion members, the deal would be accepted. If you are an #aslef member, or a #TrainDriver, would you accept the governments latest offer? Opinions welcome.

@andycastle46587 Strange name for a dog

Wet paint 🤦🏼‍♂️

@Hogjuice Won 5-0 32 go through and 12 went out. 1 stage closer to £440

@jon1968wall That is true,how did your team get on

@Hogjuice He just had the best chance of the match so far though.....

@fesshole You lost me at python script

I spent two days writing a python script that would take a car number plate and work out when it was registered, most likely where, and what cars were being sold that year. All because it really pisses me off when I see things like an Allegro with an anachronous plate.

@fesshole This is a shit confession

My wife stopped drinking two years ago after a night out with friends. She was sick all over the kitchen, cried and passed out. I put her to bed. Afterwards, I did a poo near the front door. I told her next day she had done it. That's why she doesn't drink. Not sorry.

@MarkH_Photo A 'dickhead' of Audis

Towan Beach, Cornwall. Does anyone know the collective name for 4 Audi's stuck in the sand... 🤣🤣

@fesshole Ohm my god!

I've been an electrician for over 25 years and still have no idea what an ohm is.

You are invited to watch my live activity. livetrack.garmin.com/session/27c4cf…

You are invited to watch my live activity. livetrack.garmin.com/session/70838e…

You are invited to watch my live activity. livetrack.garmin.com/session/02e7c3…

@fesshole I'm 55 and a couple of weeks ago I went to Piano Works in Leicester Square and I was definitely the oldest one there. I danced solid from 7pm till 2am when it closed. All the youngsters tried to keep up but failed

I'm going clubbing next weekend for the first time in a decade. I'm 48, out of shape and terrified I'll be like a Womble gatecrashing an LS Lowry painting

You are invited to watch my live activity. livetrack.garmin.com/session/49b42d…

@Hogjuice @SoVeryBritish Depends on the quality of the sausage

@jon1968wall @SoVeryBritish Mate, where's the sausage

If you could only have four items in a fry up, which four would you choose?