I had an idea of starting random bullshit programming paradigms. Pick a concept and say everything must be it now. "If-Oriented Programming - everything is an if", "Loop-Oriented Programming", "Thread-Oriented", "Variable-Oriented", etc. No matter what I pick it sound totally like something HN normies may get hyped up about. That's how fucked up programming culture is rn.

@tsoding I've been doing return oriented programming for a while now, it is great

@tsoding Program oriented programming

@tsoding Lua devs like stack-oriented programming.

@tsoding Well my go to is PHP+ WASM! and Go language

@tsoding functional/oop in shambles but also domain specific languages also could be in shambles

@tsoding This is about FP isn’t it?

@tsoding normie oriented programming as opposed to based oriented programming

@tsoding How could you have left out the most obvious one of all: Goto-oriented programming? All microprocessors use it.

@tsoding The term has to be fancy-sounding and encompass a small set of properties that does not really correspond to how computers work. Block oriented programming: If is a block For is a block All types of declarations are blocks Blocks only contains other blocks

@tsoding I have some joke slides in one of my presentations which focus on the obsession with random 2D geometric shapes as programming paradigms. Hexagons. Various rings. Absolute nonsense.

@tsoding People are suffering Tsoding they don’t know what’s wrong and they cling to every programming snake oil possible (Component oriented programming would do well on HN)

@tsoding I once created "context oriented programming" and even implemented an interpreter for it. Instead of passing arguments to functions you'd pass functions to arguments.

@tsoding Single file oriented programming Need to work on the name but put the whole program in 1 file

@tsoding "bullshit-oriented-programing" no, wait, this is javascript

@tsoding Welcome to LinkedIn

@tsoding Goto oriented programming

@tsoding There is aspect-oriented programming. 🙃

@tsoding pattern matching oriented programming

@tsoding oriental programming

@tsoding Now you just need to feed the data to the LLM’s and then they will push your agenda further

@tsoding that's how 'vibe coding' started, might as well give it a shot 😂

@tsoding I tried to formulate an alternative to scrum called nine L (because scrum backwards is murcs so I thought I should go with a backward lenin). Luckily I follow the first nine L principle — laziness, so I dropped

@tsoding Well, state-machine-oriented programming doesn't sound that bad.

@tsoding How about exception oriented programming? try: a - b except 0 as zero: throw "The numbers are equal."

@tsoding They actually have a "branchless programming" paradigm that tries to get rid of conditionals (both to prevent pipeline stalling as well as perhaps preventing data leakage through timing differences.

@tsoding "If-oriented programming" sounds like stuff that some people unironically already follow

@tsoding Vibe Oriented Programming

@tsoding division-by-zero oriented programming all control flow is handled by division-by-zero exceptions and the number that gets divided by zero is the argument for calls

@tsoding Yeah, Fuck-Oriented Programming, everything fucked.

@tsoding HN is the only place where underperforming posts get real feedback

@tsoding If-Oriented programming is basically Prolog

@tsoding disoriented programming

@tsoding Threaded-Python-Interpreter. My bot works fine with it (scales to 5 of 6 cores) so i think it is going to be "the way" ;]

@tsoding Parallel Oriented Programming

@tsoding How about "everything is a list" or "everything is a function"? Seems novel.