A Whorea Borealis.

@WalkAlanWalk @Carpenterdf @anon_opin Kevin knows all about handling sticky tar.

@Carpenterdf @anon_opin I'd rather my road was fixed by a professional, not Kevin with a smack habit.

Prison's are overcrowded, eye wateringly expensive for the taxpayer and rarely work. We should bring back the stocks for minor offences. Quick, cheap and entertaining. And the shame is likely to be far more effective at preventing re-offending than a spell inside

@AndyB7777 @m25dave @anon_opin Getting up was the easy part. . Help. I've been up this rope now for 30 years. Please. Somebody. Send help!

@m25dave @anon_opin I couldn’t climb one as a kid, I’d have no chance now.

@ALazyMarmot @20100____ @kal_brandon @JustinTrudeau Lol you paid Elon Musk just so you could call people slurs online. You know you can call people turd-touching retards for free, right?

@20100____ @kal_brandon @JustinTrudeau You're a massive retard.

@anon_opin Maybe lazy cunts should knock off all the Ubers and Amazon delivery vehicles that add to road traffic. At least there are no bozos saying councils are cheaping out on asphalt quality and that global warming making more extreme shifts in weather is degrading it.

Maybe the reason why there are so many potholes isn't because the council aren't doing their job, but because so many of you selfish pricks are driving round in 3 ton SUVs

@anon_opin Oh look, the poors have discovered the Internet.

There is one hundred per cent correlation between people who have personalised number plates and people who are cunts.

@DaidojisAbs @esjesjesj And who could afford to have historical records written down? (Hint: it wasn't the peasants)

@esjesjesj Either way, the oldest mention of Robin Hood calls him a murderer and the people who like him morons

The evil sheriff character

@esjesjesj And where were those taxes headed? Oh yeah - the crusades. Or his own purse. Sounds eerily familiar.

@anon_opin Audience members who are plants should be banned from re-attending for a year. If you're going to be obvious but not announce your bona fides, off you may fuck.

Each edition of Question Time should have a Susie Dent type fact-checking expert at a separate desk with a big pile of books, pointing out the lies of the last panelist.

@presearchnews @pubity Source: "Trust me, bro"

@pubity Like, there's someone who still trusts the information on Wikipedia

Wikipedia has banned all users from using AI-generated text to write or update articles.

@NoContextBrits Needs chips.

British cuisine. Best in the world.

@atrupar ...but fuck America's poor, its children, the elderly, and infirm. Although Trump does love to fuck children.

Trump: “My Administration stands ready to use the full Economic Might of the United States to strengthen Hungary’s Economy, as we have done for our Great Allies in the past, if Prime Minister Viktor Orbán and the Hungarian People ever need it. We are excited to invest in the future Prosperity that will be generated by Orbán’s continued Leadership! President DONALD J. TRUMP”

@BladeoftheS I would shoutout, but a bunch of Blue Tickers have paid Elon Musk to muffle my voice.

Everybody else seems to have bought a blue tick. There is only me left. Shoutout if you haven't soldout either.

@SpiderUncensor @BladeoftheS Plus you get to post the worst, wettest, and longest brainfarts above anyone else - dominating any conversation. Freemium Speech.

@BladeoftheS You should, its all about the character limit! More visceral ranting without limits makes it well worth a couple of quid.

@atrupar Trump's grandad spoke fluent German. Makes you think, dunnit.

Rick Scott: "Europe would all be speaking German if it wasn't for the American service members and what we did to save their butts in the second world war. For them to not support what we're doing in Iran is foolish. So NATO is gonna have to change."

@Jan51478528 @floboflo I didn't get a City job handed to me by my dad's mates, straight out of public school. Real men can change tyres and lift hods. This ponce only drinks wine, doesn't even sup pints. Bet he couldn't even change a fuse.

Real men what's stopping you from being like this legend ?

@default_crow @razibkhan Didn't realize Tejanos were white.

@razibkhan The real question is when Texas crosses the California threshold, and native whites start fleeing for other states. It's managed to forestall this with prodigious economic growth for a number of years.

@kikisknees Project 1835 is succeeding. Sure, you can annex Texas, but you can't keep it.

Holy shit. Texas is fucked. I don't even think these numbers are accurate, it's likely far far worse than is shown.

@dazzammm @anon_opin One of my favourite memories as a kid, my dad saying "Look at the bristols on that, fantastic bit o' skirt," before remembering he had an 8 and a 6-year-old in the car.

@anon_opin Same goes for jugs, baps and, a favourite from the 70s, Bristols

Whoever decided to name small birds "tits" ruined forever the possibility of a sensible conversation about these beautiful creatures.

@anon_opin Lol. You fucking mong. Get with the programme, grandad.

Software developers: nobody understands "Sort ascending" or "Sort descending". Stop using them.

@Flynny_DF @anon_opin Don't you have some Easter eggs to have a whinge about?

@anon_opin Considering UK coastline these days... one dives in, 5 get out.

All seaside piers should have supervised diving boards, so people can enjoy a plunge into the sea in the warmer months.