Rod Thompson

上段：人々が思う第二次世界大戦 下段：実際の第二次世界大戦 ・海外歴史ミームの「定番あるある」 アメリカ＝主役気取り（ハリウッドのせい） ソ連＝圧倒的な数の暴力・畑から兵士が収穫できる フランス＝すぐ降伏する ポーランド＝始まった瞬間ボコられる不憫なキャラ

American Empire

Forget Nero. Forget Caligula. The worst Roman emperor in history was a 19 year old who thought he was the reincarnation of Hercules. If you saw the movie Gladiator, you know him as Joaquin Phoenix's character. His real name was Commodus, and the reason his story is so dark is that his father was Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher king who wrote the Meditations. When Marcus died in 180 AD, Commodus inherited the most powerful empire the world had ever seen. He immediately abandoned his father's wars on the German frontier, made a humiliating peace, and rode back to Rome to play. He fought in the Colosseum 735 times. He won every match, because his opponents fought him with wooden swords while he used a real one. The Senate was forced to pay him a million sesterces every time he stepped into the arena. He once gathered men who had lost their feet to accident or disease, dressed them from the knees down as serpentine giants, handed them sponges to throw at him as "rocks," and clubbed them to death in front of the Roman public for sport. On another day, he decapitated an ostrich in the arena, walked up to the senators in the front row, and held the bloody head up at them with a smile. The historian Cassius Dio was sitting there that day. He writes that the senators chewed on the laurel leaves from their crowns to hide their hysterical, terrified laughter, because they understood the head was a promise. He renamed the city of Rome itself "Colonia Commodiana." Colony of Commodus. He renamed all twelve months of the year after his own twelve titles. He declared himself a living god, dressed publicly in a lion skin, carried a wooden club, and demanded to be addressed as Hercules, son of Zeus. His own sister Lucilla tried to have him assassinated. He survived and had her executed. His wife Crispina was exiled to an island and quietly killed. His chamberlain Cleander began openly selling senate seats and consulships for cash. In one year, twenty five different men were appointed consul. On New Year's Eve, 192 AD, his mistress Marcia found her own name on his execution list for the next morning. She poisoned his wine. He vomited it up. So she sent in his personal wrestling coach, a man named Narcissus, who strangled him to death in his bath. The very next year, the imperial throne of Rome was literally auctioned off to the highest bidder by the Praetorian Guard. Five different men claimed the title of emperor in twelve months. Civil war never really stopped after that. Edward Gibbon, who wrote the definitive history of Rome's collapse, opens his entire 3000 page book with the death of Marcus Aurelius and the rise of his son. The Roman Empire would limp on for another 284 years in the west before it finally fell. But the Pax Romana, the longest stretch of peace and prosperity the ancient world had ever known, died on the German frontier with Marcus Aurelius. His son made sure of it.

Is there a worse military headgear?

Just an fyi: Maple Grove is not "conveniently located within a few miles of the airport and stadium," no matter what that Airbnb host tells you.

BREAKING: Feeding Our Future mastermind Aimee Bock sentenced to 500 months in prison, just over 41 years. “Disabling Aimee Bock from ever meaningfully participating in society again is the only just outcome. The state of Minnesota will never be the same because of Aimee Bock," Assistant U.S. Attorney Rebecca Kline says in court. Bock also ordered to pay $242 million in restitution.