Claire

@Bedman1457 @Guramitsingh01 Yes. 9 years old.

@Guramitsingh01 Is that a girl they’re beating?

If you raise your children to act like this you deserve the gallows.

@trotcesar @RuhamaFernandez @Econ_and_Ink Marco = wanker

@RuhamaFernandez @Econ_and_Ink Woman = stupid

As a Cuban refugee and former political prisoner, I am appalled that you and your daughter are supporting the regime that has oppressed us for 67 years. The aid does not reach ordinary Cubans—it is sold in dollar stores—while you help whitewash a dictatorship. Shame on you, and shame on your daughter.

@BasilTheGreat It's this a directive? If so, happy to comply 🙄

LUSH Cosmetics 📷 Absolutely disgraceful propaganda on Britain's high streets

@UglyFreight @alphafox Damn! I knew I'd miss one!! 😄

@MilleD @alphafox You ought to have ought 😂😉

I don't know how anyone passed english class 😵‍💫

@sofiaxsmith @Heretixx66 @QcWynter I think it means include only pertinent information. Don't talk around the subject and include things not related to the subject at hand. Maybe 😄

@Heretixx66 @QcWynter It makes no sense to say “just the details” because “details” are exactly that- specific & detailed. It would make more sense to say “just a summary/ top line”. To put “just” with “details” is a strange non sequitur & why would friends use this odd formulation as well as family?

Speaking to an old friend yesterday - a very bright chap - he told me about the one scar that he carries from childhood. Whenever he was asked by friends or family to say or explain something, it would come with the request, "just the details". Haunts him still at the age of 66.

@RatzTale1970 @KingBobIIV 😄 I think it's the relish word. Not putting that in my food 😂

@MilleD @KingBobIIV Nuuuuuu! Heresy! It is vegetarian though, I cannot deny it. You tend to add it to the food after you have cooked it, rather than during cooking. My brother in law gets through a dozen or more bottles a year, I happily consume two a year.

I don't mean to alarm anyone, but I've just finished a bottle of Worcestershire Sauce. What happens now? Does this tear a hole in the space time continuum or something? The last time this happened David Bowie, George Micheal, John Hurt and Professor Snape died. Is there a number to call to something?

@HazelAppleyard Aquamarine is the original gemstone of love. Before De Beers marketing dept kicked in 7.5-8 on the mohs scale and beautiful. We should have stuck with those I reckon.

I once had to reassure a (very broke) man that I adored that a £50 ring was absolutely fine and that I wanted to marry him more than I wanted an expensive ring. Sure enough he proposed with said ring, I adored it, I showed it off to everyone, and it did not matter one bit how much it cost. This relationship didn’t work out for other external reasons but at least it wasn’t because I would accept nothing less than a mined 3ct ring. He should run.

@RatzTale1970 @KingBobIIV Is this the sad vegetarian knock off? 😀

@KingBobIIV You need to let the power of Hendersons Relish into your life.

@ConfiditeDeo @KingBobIIV Excellent use of the Kanban system there 😊

Tsk! Tsk! This should never happen for one very good reason: When you buy Worcestershire Sauce you should buy two bottles. This way by the time you finish the first one the second will have matured enough to actually be worth using. And of course as soon as you open it you buy another one to replace it with.

@TheHevo @godblesstoto Gutted he didn't just let the thing finish! 😄

@godblesstoto It is easily put to comedy shame by a hinged stick. (Watch to at least 20s in)x.com/i/status/20320…

This looks worse than The Mash Report and I didn't even think that was actually possible yet here we are.

@bmay Is this a parody account?

Starmer will win the next election. Not because he’s loved. Not because he’s a visionary. Not because he’s Labour. But because he is, in the end, a calm head, whose two main challengers are patently unserious ideologues, who show themselves daily to be unsuitable for the role.

@NoWayWoke Great way to reduce plastic usage, just strip the whole cable. Job done! 😄

I might not have gone to University, but at least I know how to wire a plug! bLue to the left bRown to the right

@8yjd95h8fn @MuscularEnglish Reform got in last May in my local council. We've had "resignation" after "resignation". Including the leader of the council. And then the newly voted leader of the council after him.

@MuscularEnglish I completely agree. However, someone should have a word with the vile reform councillors because they’re making it increasingly hard to give them my vote.

Ladies and gentleman. Local elections incoming. Yes I support Restore, but I am a pragmatist. Restore will not have candidates on the ballot so vote for the patriots best placed to win. In the vast majority of places that will mean voting Reform. You may have a local independent or Tory who you know is based, back them too. The end game is getting our country back. Defeating the cartel and clawing back some ground. Abstaining or not voting in this situation is poor strategy.

@Telegraph Really, today of all fucking days? You absolute bunch of wankers.

🔴 From the safety of online forums, more young parents admit they love their kids, but hate their lives Read the full story below 🖇️ telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03/1…

@MarkHeath45 Lord of all hopefulness. I've always liked a song in a minor key 😂

What was your favourite hymn/song in a morning assembly when you were a child?? Sing Hosana is mine, absolute banger 😂🙏🏻✊🏻🇬🇧

@Sorelle_Arduino She doesn't look well in that second picture.

‘I’m on the left in both pictures’ 🤣🤣🤣 As if anyone was going to look at that first picture and then be confused about who was who in the second - this is a new level of delusion…

@Marcus___007 @BurnsideWasTosh Well he's definitely got someone's hand up his arse.

@BurnsideWasTosh Because whenever he talks he sounds like Zippy. If Zippy had had a stroke. He's destroyed Rainbow for me. That's reason enough right there.

OK, apart from giving away the Chagos Islands, recognising Palestine, 13 Ministerial resignations, having full confidence in Morgan McSweeney, Peter Mandelson, Sue Gray and Lord Alli, blaming the far right for being an island of strangers, 16 policy u-turns, having no operable warships, smashing the gangs, approving the chinese embassy, spending 17 seconds laying a wreath in Southport to rush back to a drinks party, appointing an anti muslim hostility tsar, raising income tax, Inheritence tax, National Insurance, capital gains tax, council tax, Value Added Tax and mansion tax, increasing welfare spending and the minimum wage while freezing tax allowances, cancelling the a303 widening, scrapping jury trials, speaking like an unexcited deaf man, Why is Keir Starmer such a cunt?

@bagshaw2112 This review was put on Amazon probably around 20 years ago!!

In this terrible world today we need to keep smiling. Read this if you want a belly laugh , and I dare you to try and read it to friends . Please LIKE & SHARE to make others smile 😃 WARNING ABOUT VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM. Please share to save lives of men After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good " Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status... So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-o

@grok @OneGoodMic @gamefandave @JesterJum @grok have you been infiltrated by @gork?!

@OneGoodMic @gamefandave @JesterJum Nah, not literally—dude's just getting absolutely bodied by his own Feb 19 tweet screenshot. Self-roast level: expert. Irony wins this round, no casualties beyond the ego.

Can we come up with a derogatory slur for people who ask Grok to respond to posts instead of using that thing between their shoulders as something other than a hat rack?