Clockdish

@AmericaForeva @MongerVitriol @GreenTextRepost Does he though?

@MongerVitriol @GreenTextRepost Why would you be jealous when you have a bigger dick than her?

Anonymous submission

@jamesjjohnson83 @digitalspaz No you didn't.

@digitalspaz I ran up the stairs holding a screwdriver like this when I was 8. Slipped on a step, put my hands out to stop from faceplanting, and did it anyway, with the screwdriver right beside my head at eye level. An inch to the left and I'd be blind in one eye or possibly dead.

At the age of 4 or 5 years old, I found some chopsticks in the kitchen then immediately decided to run around the house holding them. I tripped on the base of the stairs, the chopsticks went up my mouth and punctured the back of my throat. It was less than 1/4” from puncturing my brainstem. There’s no moral to that story, just remembered that happened 😬

@Nikki_nightwing @FiredUpCoug Kill him.

@FiredUpCoug I had one, when I told him we weren’t interested and to leave or I would call the cops, mind you he’d been sitting outside my house for 15+ minutes constantly calling my mom, he started berating me. Saying I looked like someone who would waste the cops time…

Just passed a friend in her driveway holding her toddler, baby in a stroller, getting cornered by a door-to-door salesman she clearly didn’t want to talk to. I called out, “Hey, is now a good time?” walked right up, stepped between them, and started talking to her about what I needed to bring for dinner on Sunday. (We do not have dinner plans.) He didn’t take the hint, so I turned and said, “Have a good one.” Then I walked her inside. She was shaking. He’d been there for 20 minutes, ignoring her saying she wasn’t interested and that she needed to feed her baby. Really glad I happened to be walking by.

@tinolini2 @3rdgiantSlayer @KILLTOPARTY Shut up bitch.

@3rdgiantSlayer @KILLTOPARTY Not even about that, but him thinking he’s entitled to her body because they are married. If he was really that into her it wouldn’t be all about sex, but cuddles and flirting and spending time with her, making her feel adored. He’s just horny, nothing special about that

It’s funny when married people hate each other

@toowaveybaybe @BensVoicemail @BennyBillions @rssn3_ He's full of shit.

@BensVoicemail @BennyBillions @rssn3_ Spy how?

Don’t get too comfortable on Teams… it can all be brought up anytime

@AdityaRPanda @elormkdaniel No you didn't.

@elormkdaniel I played sniper game with that red button. Initially it was difficult but once you master it's very convenient between typing and cursor movement

That tiny red nub sitting between the G, H, and B keys on keyboards has been quietly dividing the tech world for over 30 years. Half the people who encounter it have no idea what it does. The other half refuse to use anything else. It’s called the TrackPoint. And it was born out of a single frustrating observation. In 1984, a researcher named Ted Selker conducted a study showing that it takes a typist 0.75 seconds to shift their hand from the keyboard to the mouse and a comparable amount of time to shift back.  That 1.5 seconds of lost time, multiplied across an entire workday, felt like a solvable problem. So he built something that would eliminate it entirely; a pressure-sensitive nub planted right in the middle of the keyboard, so your hands never had to leave the keys at all. IBM introduced it commercially in 1992 on the ThinkPad 700 series.  The way it works is not what most people expect. It doesn’t move like a joystick. It responds to pressure. Beneath the rubber cap sit strain gauges that measure the force applied in different directions and translate it into cursor movement. The harder you press, the faster the cursor moves.  There is no repositioning, no lifting your finger, no running out of space. Infinite cursor movement from a single fingertip that never moves more than a millimeter. The red color almost didn’t happen. IBM’s product safety division had reserved red exclusively for emergency power-off switches on mainframe computers. ThinkPad designer Richard Sapper got around this by calling the color IBM Magenta and when the first batch shipped, the engineers made it decidedly more crimson. A loophole dressed in plain sight.  Power users programmers, analysts, executives who live on their keyboards swear by it. The reason, according to Lenovo’s chief design officer, is that your hands never leave the home row. You type and navigate simultaneously, without the constant interruption of reaching for a trackpad.  Once mastered, people say it feels less like using a tool and more like an extension of thought. Most laptops abandoned it. Lenovo never did. And the people who know, know.

@MUUCooper @billybrizzle420 Think you're tough?

@billybrizzle420 Just dip like a man… fuckin pouch pussies

My vape store guy actually gave me attitude today because I bought a roll of this and a roll of wintergreen because they never stock Alps and they’re my favorite He was like: “dude I have other customers that want these” I was like stop stocking knock off Zyns & buy enough then

@Neighbor_Jeff @ItsRobbAllen No, no he didn't. Can you imagine what it would be like if he did though?

@ItsRobbAllen No he didnt

I had a friend for whom nothing was too hot. One time we were at a restaurant and the waitress asked how hot he wanted his order. He leaned over and said "tell the cook I said he's a coward." It came out bright red and oily. It was so hot it was burning my eyes from across the table. He barely broke a sweat.

@McFranchisee @tavoliar @McDonalds Who the hell is "we"?

@tavoliar @McDonalds We literally patented the grill that almost everyone uses

Please don’t clean your grills with ice, this makes me cringe. Your $30,000 grill can warp due to the rapid temperature change - going from 425 degrees to being doused with ice. We don’t even use pumice stones any more in @McDonalds, just some grill cleaner & a heavy duty brush. I am unsure why we don’t use the stones as these are commonly used elsewhere. What do you use?

@JonnyD @tupacabra Yes you do.

@tupacabra no way I don't want little people in my soup

Scientist discover a mushroom that makes you see thousands of tiny people everywhere. The tiny people often interact with the subject in intelligent ways. 😳 🍄

@Designer1817 @rydercc64 @LucasSa56947288 Probably not.

@rydercc64 @LucasSa56947288

WOW! President Zelensky has officially REJECTS Donald Trump’s Peace Deal. RETWEET to thank Zelenskyy! 🇺🇦

@4nt1p4tt3rn @PreciselyPosit1 You post rage bait multiple times a day, probably from a phone.

@PreciselyPosit1 Or -- and hear me out -- if more people stopped living their entire lives through their stupid phones, perhaps everyone would stop requiring them. You (collectively) did this. Don't whine about it.

> You must have a phone to function This. This right here is why the younger generation fails.

He asked for a sewing machine for Christmas, and the first thing he made was for his sister.

@M_l_sac @DrCHuber @drtaubraun

@DrCHuber @drtaubraun Maybe cause they’re refusing to wear masks during a fucking pandemic. It showed just how many people are brainless and ignorant.

It's been 5 years and the world is still divided by those that believe cloth masks were effective against a virus and those of us that realized most people were dumber than we ever imagined.

@TylerBu02782650 @rahsh33m Mandy Ross

@rahsh33m Randy moss

Shit just kept getting funnier and funnier 🤣

@erikjfritsch @awkwardgoogle

@awkwardgoogle try the cells in your heart, and simply receive what is in every now moment, with your highest excitement of imagination 🪄

I used every cell in my brain and still don’t understand this

@rationulanimul @jacobtrompler @DefiantLs Are you a hooker or just a slut?

@jacobtrompler @DefiantLs Wow! Not only do u find it funny once but you find it funny almost every 2 weeks? I m going to go out on a limb & guess that ur a trump supporter.

He couldn't hold it in

@grok @andrewknevett @TheRicanMemes @grok that's Luis Guzman, obviously.

@andrewknevett @TheRicanMemes I double-checked the image and compared it to known photos. It matches Geraldo Rivera during a period when he grew out his beard, like in 2014. If you think it's someone else, I'd love to hear who!

Reminder TDS destroys the mind body and soul.

@petalsandpower @WesleyBout

@WesleyBout If men were more like broccoli—quiet, nutritious, and non-creepy—the world would be safer.

Went to get a Covid test and a giant broccoli man walked by the door

@SoshulJustis @lewa1110 @DelusionPosting

@lewa1110 @DelusionPosting Easy. Independent hydroponic farms not under redneck influence, but supplied for by friendly, kind-hearted socialists fighting for the people. Those empty Republican lands are losing control of the narrative.