Vinod Chhaproo

Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section

if you haven’t bought roses yet buy her a bunch of cilantro

St. Patrick’s Day is just a made up holiday to sell more Patricks.

@lasagnaonabeach @difficultpatty Happy birthday Patty! Hope your year is filled with the best sandwiches ❤️

Happy, happy birthday to my bff, ride or die, my favorite human, my Wanda to my Mary Anne. Hope you have a great birthday even though it falls on a Monday. This life would be stupid without you. Love you Joanne!! ❤️ @difficultpatty

I like looking up celebrities who died the day before I was born to see who I might be the reincarnation of.

Arrived in our vacation rental home and my 14 year-old daughter keeps questioning why some closets are locked. 14: That’s sus. What if the owners are just in there listening to us?

Award for the best actor goes to my puppy, for her performance as the world’s hungriest and most deprived dog everytime she smells food

Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week thepoke.com/2026/03/13/our…

@ThePoke @paddyraffcomedy @VictoriaCoren @MisterD78UK @terrip38 @AlsikkanTV @bmay @dieworkwear @NotTodayEric @fw_lennox1 @mymomcare @sarky_sheena @ThePunnyWorld @thrluv @FergusCraig @ItsAndyRyan @LeedSTUnited Thank you!

Featuring: @paddyraffcomedy @VictoriaCoren @MisterD78UK @terrip38 @AlsikkanTV @bmay @dieworkwear @NotTodayEric @fw_lennox1 @mymomcare @sarky_sheena @ThePunnyWorld @Chhapiness @thrluv @FergusCraig @ItsAndyRyan @LeedSTUnited Many thanks.

Your text message is not as clear as you think it is

therapist: you may have some codependency issues me: oh no. what are we gonna do to fix that?

@JaniceGCarter 🤣 🤣

@Chhapiness 🤣🤣I have a 7yo granddaughter exactly like that, especially when she comes for a sleepover and she knows her nana/papa will be taken in every time.

The best actress award goes to my 5YO for her performance as a hungry and deprived child just before her bedtime

I’m 47, stop correcting my accent and pronunciations! I don’t need the anchoragement

@amiawakeyet9 given the sassiness I would say yes 🤣 🤣

@Chhapiness 🤣 she musta took lessons from my cat

@rachelguz Yes! The movie where producer and director have no say 🤣

@Chhapiness My 7 year old should win the best actor award! 😂

A drinking game where you drink every time your wife tells you what to do. It's called 'everyday life' and I'm always drunk.

Tonal languages are great because as long as you can at least match the melody you can sing along.

My 14 y/o daughter came home from swimsuit shopping frustrated because “it was very difficult to find a modest swimsuit.” Thank you for attending my Dad TED talk.

Doctor: Do you drink? Me: Yes. Doctor: How often? Me: I'm cosigner on three college loans. Doctor: So constantly, got it.