Kevin in Te𝕏as

FRIDAY. People say they see weaknesses in the Duty Roster, yet nobody seems to see the complexity in constructing one of these. So this week, we took apart the last few and used a chart to check trends. Behold ! The Duty Roster to inch closer to perfection : This Week, @brinkofill has the Duty, His Beating Stick Cadre are @Tooth_Chipper @Schwalm5132 and @Saltyerbollz, (Please return sticks free of fluids stains and hair, if broken, check the Arms Room) This Week, @manhattanmaker has selected @chrispowell for Snek Duty, Aero Squad this week will be : @BauxV16 in the Salmon Osprey, @MikeSnowden65 @JoeGambone @CyborgPeds @tickthief and @MikeBennet91074 on his drones. KP this week is @HardPass4 with help from @AnciraSalsa, Your Bartender this weekend will be @passmyraybans and DJ will be @notPeachessab by popular demand. Med Staff is @BudLightSadness. Our Cultural Exchange Liason this week will be @tanpukunokami, Arms Room this week is staffed by @StackEmUpAgain & @RealTmDaddy, expect long lines for return, as it's first week back for @ElSotong @ChrisWesterfie7 and @MeromeroCa97371 This weeks @hittyminny watch is warned - It's his Birthday weekend, so avoid excessive excitement while watching him.@JewishWarrior13 @townnzusa @LouisvilleGun on deck for that. No Bail and No Backup DO this week, Brink can handle ANYTHING you throw at him. Try HIM. @mnsibley watch this week - Report with appropriate threatening or impressively scary gear and expect more resistance than last week's crew got : @malletcncworks @UncoverFacts @griffithe @ricky_redacted @inthe307 @MThomasOTF @DraftyBastard @WombatsGhost @SinklarD @PaperworkNinja @corp_tyrell @WiseguyThreeOne @McKavitys @Joshua_Graham50 @Aslans_Return @BitchyLiberty with @IrvingNick33 and @Shadzey1 in the treeline. This week's suggested follows are @harveyspistols, The Mentally Disfigured @ThomasServiam, my truly better half @SEPHORADEPP, and the truly Irreplaceable and Amazing @BuckWilde_ Heads on Swivels and Sha-Sha to the Peeps, Buy Blades and Ammo, Save for a better wireless grill and always remember :

@BuckWilde_ Gm sir

GM, y’all.

@AnnaDsays Woohoooooo! LFG!!!

GM! Happy last Friday of Funemployment because I got the job!!!!

@talledcombs I've been to hockey games, so basically the same

HAVE YOU EVER ATTENDED ACTUAL, SANCTIONED, IN-A-RING BOXING?

@brinkofill W

Two Hundred Seventy weeks sober today.

@oldad1775 Queso is delicious

When you see how much the queso costs

@fakeftedd Don't they sell dehumidifiers at Walmart for like $20???

Be me, have a dehumidifier. Have it fail. Pay $2135.70 for a new dehumidifier. Be right back to where you started.

@caesar_pounce Demstrive

Do you pronounce it "demonstrative" or "demonstrative"?

@mnsibley @BattleByrd Byrd is correct. This pic does nothing to support your argument.

@BattleByrd Wut

Any breed that is a working dog breed is right. Any dog that isn't a working dog breed is left.

@ExUmbrisDesigns @RepMcCormick Tpermanent. Duh

@RepMcCormick What’s the T in TPS stand for again?

I voted to extend TPS for Haitians because I cannot, in good conscience, send people who were lawfully granted protection here, followed our laws, and built lives under our rules back to rape, murder, and chaos in a lawless Haiti. This is completely separate from amnesty or illegal immigration. Conflating the two is dangerous.

@mnsibley They're with Nancy Guthrie on a beach in Costa Rica

Oh shit’s on now. What man made or space borne horrors are they hiding from us!

@LongAndy1001 This is blasphemy. Delete this immediately.

I don’t admit I’m wrong often (because I never am) but McDonald’s for breakfast and Taco Bell for lunch wasn’t my best idea ever.

@SecondAmendment Both

Need your help guys... "Customer" placed an order for two Spyderco knives on my website last night. Get notifications this morning that the charge is fraudulent. I do some digging and our genius scammer seems to have used his real name and has warrants out for his arrest from a nearby city. So I have a question... When he comes in to get them, should I use handcuffs or zip ties to secure him while we wait on the police to show up?

@CuriosityonX We've been trying to reach you about your extended warranty.

What would be the scariest message humanity could receive from outer space?

@aelfred_D Sir, that's not true

Every day Me: Joke Person: That’s not true Me: Right, it’s a joke Person: It is wrong Me: Incongruity and inaccuracy are the basis of humor Person: But it’s not true

@WarPath2pt0 They probably eat Raisin Bran

I just learned there are people that pour the milk before the cereal and idk how to even process that--

@AJamesMcCarthy Hi Gregory!

Gregory is checking in to make sure you’re having a nice week

@uncledoomer This violence is wholly unnecessary

sopranos actors birth years if the pilot was filmed today

@BuckWilde_ Gm

GM, y’all.

Hey y'all, my homie recently went from "I'm not feeling great" to "on dialysis forver" and could use any help (even just sharing this link is just helpful). He's a total sweetie, a huge foodie, and his mom's only caretaker. And now he's been basically stripped of his life overnight. He's ran a humble little armory for years and is the guy who always knows the best food spots and makes everyone laugh. Please give how you can if you're able 🙏😔 givesendgo.com/toddskidneyssu…