I'm Cereal

@AlanDersh This is You , right?

Pulitzers Give Award to Fake “Journalist” Who They Know Lies open.substack.com/pub/dersh/p/pu…

@AlanDersh tHIS yOU?

1935: Was It the Worst Year in History? open.substack.com/pub/dersh/p/19…

@RapidResponse47 Sure

He was blinking, you absolute moron

@GOP if you tell a lie long enough, it never becomes true

Wages are climbing Costs are falling Our economy is thriving This is the Trump Effect 🔥

@WhiteHouse LOL, I call bullshit

"Tax Refunds this year, because of “THE GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL BILL,” are substantially greater than ever before... Don’t spend all of this money in one place!" - President Donald J. Trump 🇺🇸

@IvankaTrump Wow, gross attention whoring

Today, a new lunar cycle begins. The Year of the Fire Horse calls us to courage, to energy, to intention, and to fearless creation. It is a year for bold ideas, decisive action, and turning vision into something enduring. I am stepping into it with clarity and conviction, ready to bring forward projects I have been quietly nurturing, ideas nearly ready to meet the light. I cannot wait to share them with you. Forward, with strength. With gratitude. With purpose. Excited for what is ahead. Happy Lunar New Year 新年快乐 ✨🐎🔥

@PressSec they arrested your boss?

WOW.DHS.GOV: ICE Arrests Criminal Illegal Alien Pedophiles, Rapists, Drug Traffickers, and More Over Presidents’ Day Weekend dhs.gov/news/2026/02/1…

@NancyMace naaa you're just a dumb cunt

They're coming after me, because I am standing up for you. It's us vs. them. And there are more of us, than there are of them.

@Sec_Noem @fema get her another blanky, the old one has Lewandowski stains in it

Democrats in Congress have shut down @FEMA funding—leaving our hard working employees to work without pay—yet FEMA is now stepping in to coordinate cleanup of one of the largest raw sewage spills in U.S. history. Thanks to gross mismanagement by Maryland's Democrat leaders, hundreds of millions of gallons of raw sewage has reportedly been dumped into the Potomac River—flowing straight through our nation's capital and endangering millions of people, wildlife, and the entire DC region's water supply. Democrats are withholding paychecks from the men and women of @dhsgov while they clean up this Democrat-created disaster. Unbelievable hypocrisy.

@GovCox Oh look the strawman speaks, stfu cox

Mike, I appreciate you attempting this with a straight face, but I don’t remember the CFTC having authority over the “derivative market” of LeBron James rebounds. These prediction markets you are breathlessly defending are gambling—pure and simple. They are destroying the lives of families and countless Americans, especially young men. They have no place in Utah. Let me be clear, I will use every resource within my disposal as governor of the sovereign state of Utah, and under the Constitution of the United States to beat you in court.

@BillyBaldwin Blanket bandits?

Name this band. 🎸

@KristiNoem @CBP @ICEgov

The men and women of @CBP do lifesaving work at Otay Mesa, and everywhere. There are over 1.7 billion lethal doses of cocaine and fentanyl confiscated and sealed in this vault – potentially saving 1.7 billion lives. Shutting down DHS over @ICEgov, which is only 11% of our budget, shows that those politicians either don’t realize the full scope of our national security missions — or just don’t care.

We will either fix our nation’s election issues or we will no longer have a nation to save. The vast majority of Americans support election integrity efforts enacted by the SAVE Act, passed by the House earlier this week. This critical legislation ensures ID requirements to vote — a common sense measure that ensures our elections are fair and secure. Under the leadership of @POTUS Trump, we will keep fighting to ensure only American Citizens decide American Elections.

@RepTimBurchett @realDonaldTrump @RepChipRoy @SenMikeLee Hey test tube moron, where were you created on a whore house floor?

Democrats are lying. The SAVE America Act protects every American’s vote. It is disgusting, and frankly racist, to assume that minorities can’t obtain an ID. @realDonaldTrump @RepChipRoy @SenMikeLee

@BuzzPatterson you're challenging democrats with a fake photo? ...

Seems like a really big deal.

@StephenM they believe you

The Biden Administration facilitated mass child sex trafficking. Under Biden, ICE is now shutting it down and saving countless lives.

@DHSgov This is rich coming form the most dishonest group in the US government

This entire story is a lie. We provide COMPREHENSIVE medical care from the moment an alien enters ICE custody. This includes medical, dental, and mental health intake screening within 12 hours of arriving at each detention facility, a full health assessment within 14 days, and access to medical appointments and 24-hour emergency care. Candidly, this is the best healthcare many aliens have received in their entire lives. On December 9, 2025, ICE took Kheilin Valero Marcano, Stiven Arrieta Prieto, and their daughter Amalia Arrieta-Valero into custody, and they were detained at the Dilley Facility that is retrofitted for families. During their time in detention, Amalia Arrieta-Valero became ill with a respiratory illness. She IMMEDIATELY received proper medical care and was admitted to the Methodist Children’s Hospital in San Antonio, Texas for treatment. She remained in the hospital for eight days before being cleared for release by a pediatric doctor and returned to the Dilley facility — where she was in the medical unit and received proper treatment and prescribed medicines. Being in detention is a choice. We encourage all parents to take control of their departure with the CBP Home App to receive $2,600 and a free flight to self-deport.

@DaniJurinsky still no negative reviews reviews on google or yelp from yesterday self described events ..... Only a few cat calls and zealots regrading your x posts

I run a business. A sports bar, JJ's Place. Yesterday 80% of the bar wanted the Turning point halftime show. The rest wanted Bad Bunny. To accommodate I put the TV's on half and half. The 20% started canceling the orders, taking to social media calling me a racist, being disrespectful to my staff, and leaving 1 ⭐️ reviews on Google and Yelp. Mind you the 80% who wanted the Turning Point halftime show weren't happy that Bad Bunny stayed on, but they didn't leave me a bad review, take to social media, cancel their orders, or disrespect my staff. It has become impossible to run a business. I support 3 generations of my family on a sole income, and try to accommodate everyone. The bar business is not what it used to be. Sad day.💔

@SenRickScott So freedom of speech means nothing to you Shut the fuck up

Representing the United States—a beacon for freedom and democracy—at the Olympics is an honor. Anyone who feels otherwise should be stripped of their USA Olympic uniform.