Ant Q

@JimHowick yet another great series of Here We Go. Good work 👏

@Ed_Miliband Plum

COP29 is a chance for Britain to show climate leadership on the global stage. This government believes that climate security is national security. Behind the scenes earlier this week 👇

@JoltVisceral @fesshole Surely "she doesn't find that fanny" would've worked better😂

@fesshole When my wife gives me a blow job she pretends to blow the dust off my bellend, then taps the end and shouts into it ‘Can you hear me now, testing one, two?!’ Which she thinks is hilarious. But when I shout into her vagina and pretend there’s an echo, she doesn’t find that funny

Last year my wife came home from her work's Xmas party and she randomly gave me a blowjob. How the hell can you come home from a work's party horny? She's keeping something quiet isn't she?

@Footinit @fesshole "baby gravy" such a great description 😂

@fesshole Perfectly innocent. Maybe she just wanted to get the taste of her boss’s baby gravy out of her mouth.

@colinfry666 @fesshole awkwardly brilliant 👏

Terminal cancer sufferer here. 6 months to live tops. My wife has been amazing through it all. So much so that I haven't mentioned that I know she is having an affair with a neighbour. He is actually a nice guy and the thought she won't be alone after I have gone makes me happy.

@GarminFitness @GarminUK @Garmin please please bring back the old garmin connect interface! The new app is dire in comparison. Why change something that was easy on the eye and worked well?

@BD_GUT_HEALTH got a bottle of kefir original from Sainsbury’s 2 days ago. Having to throw it away as the stench is awful. Had this many time and never experienced this before. Can send bottle details etc if needed?

@Garmin any chance you can roll back the forced change to this supposed better version to the old one? Totally unfit for purpose. Come on @GarminUK you’re better than this. #garmin

@EssexPR @SadiqKhan Undertones of David Brent

Watch the arrogance of The London Mayor @SadiqKhan and then tell me that he’s a good Mayor … with a straight face if you can

@ofgem The elephant in the room...Engery standing charges? when they coming down to something reasonable? Their rise in line with energy costs is one thing but as with anything it doesn't come down again. #Standingcharges #energyuse @alexburghart

@PretColette @fesshole Hand Shandy obviously!😂

@fesshole A what? Sorry if I'm daft,but I'm not British.

I've recently become deaf. Of all the shitty things that come with it, the worst is not being able to sense when my wife is coming in when I'm having a swift chop.

@GarryToffee @fesshole 👏🏼👏🏼amazing work on this

@fesshole Did you get the sack ?

I'm a surgeon, had to amputate a testicle. Went to cut the patient's left testicle. The whole operating room screamed at me to stop & that it was the right one was to be amputated. I said "gotcha! just kidding haha". I wasn't kidding, I really nearly cut the wrong bollock off.

@Tesco Thanks, have sent DM with pictures

@AntiQ4040 Hi there, I'm really sorry to hear this. Please may you send us a DM with your full name, a picture of the packaging and bone and your receipt or Clubcard number if one was used during the transaction. Thank you, Sharon.

@Tesco hi. Just made dinner with a chicken breast fillets bigger pack and my son found a pretty large bone in one of the fillets. Is there a way to report this for quality control purposes?

@flendermanc @fesshole Good work there

Work used an archaic processing system that was last updated in 2011 and wouldn't pay for a new one. It refused to recognise same sex marriage and required a convoluted work around. Details ~somehow~ leaked to an LGBT org and they suddenly found the money to buy a new system.

@fesshole BumHole camera

I once rigged a GoPro camera inside the rim of my toilet, out of curiosity to see close up what my bum looked like while shit was coming out of it. The resulting footage was the single most appalling thing I've seen in my lifetime. Haunted by the vision of it to this day

@fesshole Surely one of thems a keeper?

I keep a hidden list of the girls I have slept with by adding a player to a shortlist on Football Manager and then nicknaming said player's name as the girl's name. Nobody will find it there

@ianmiles Good man @brenkav, another simple case of "don't want to be filmed then don't walk into the view of someone filming"...ending with some BoogieWoogie

Full video of Brendan Kavanagh's livestream, the British pianist who was accosted by CCP agents who called the police on him for filming them in public. They are now trying to pressure YouTube into removing the video with their faces on it.

@FusterCluck16 @fesshole Good work on this

@fesshole Kittie fiddler.

My cat really loves it when I scratch between her thighs. I don't know about cat anatomy and am worried I'm wanking her off

@seantorpey3 check this out moneysavingexpert.com/utilities/can-….

Hi #MartinLewis My energy provider has contacted me and advised that my meters are due to, or have expired. It looks as if they wish to replace it with a Smart meter. Is this correct?, and if so, ammi legally obliged to allow them to replace them?